nipple clamps

So i'm in the shower, washing away the sweat of a nasty work day and an enjoyable hour at the gym... and out of nowhere have a brainstorm for the nipple clams I've been imagining since I read Anne Rice's "Beauty" series over a decade ago, and how to make them. A bit of soldering, some old jewelry, and I would have pretty and still functional nipple clamps.

But I hate nipple clams. And so does my sweetie. How will I know if they really work right?

"Excuse me, NameofSalix'sRealLifeFriend, um, do you like kinky sex? Wear nipple clamps? Want to try some out and tell me how they are?"

*sigh* My career as an inventor stalls again...