As an addendum, just now as I was washing dishes I was thinking back to my original post, and realized I was focusing mostly on HP fandom when I was thinking of BNFs and BFFs and all that crap.

I see a real difference in the HP and RPS fandoms - which is why I left HP in the first place, and why I'm still friends with RPS folks even now that I'm not in that fandom anymore.

You've been part of both fandoms as well - what do you think?