Moment of Pause

[salixbabylon]

To that end... I got come concrit on my writing that I think is valid - overuse of passive voice, telling rather than showing. I'd like to improve, but I need some help identifying where I do it and how to rephrase. If there is anyone who feels strong in those areas and has the time and inclination to work with me, comment below or email me @ yahoo, please?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/]

I'm actually fairly good at this sort of thing; if you'd like to email me something, I'll comment on it & send it back, and you can figure out if my notes will work for you... tesserae4405 at yahoo.com

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

I will email you in the next day or so - thank you so much for the offer! :)