terrorist lube

[salixbabylon]

So for the last three months, the place where I buy lube has been out of the kind I like, Liquid Silk. Finally, this morning, I officially, thoroughly, totally ran out, and was reduced to using hand lotion. So I asked a friend of mine who recently got a job at Good Vibrations, what was up. She said that the shipment was embargoed by the Department of Homeland Security.

No kidding. They took my lube.

*boggle*

Is it terrorist lube? Does it contain secret chemicals that make me an anti-American, anti-Republican, liberal, pinko communist? Will it turn me into an international spy?

DOES MY LUBE THREATEN NATIONAL SECURITY????

I've had it. George Bush is going down. I've never been very political before, but I've had it. If I'm not gettin laid, ain't nobody gettin laid til that bastard is out of office.

NO ORAL SEX FOR REPUBLICANS

This time, it's personal.

Comments

[loony-moony.livejournal.com]

*goggles* National Sectury has confiscated lubricant shipments? *is torn between snickering and staring, mind-boggled*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

I know, it makes my head spin, torn between amusement and frustration.

[jasmineskie.livejournal.com]

You know, this is sad, and it's maddening, but it's also so ridiculous it's funny. *This* is the kind of thing that makes the whole war on terrorism such a joke. Maybe your lube, when mixed with fertilizer and other readily ascertainable chemicals, makes a really slippery explosive device.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

I SO agree with you. My lack of respect for the current government has reached an all-time low.

a really slippery explosive device

LUBE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!

[lostiawen.livejournal.com]

It's them damn Brits. :) Who knows *what* they're hiding in their lube that could be used for bombmaking?

Oh God, with Jassy's last comment I have this weird image of some terrorist Orli!stalker trying to make a bomb out of lube and chaining Orli to it. Of course, since it's slippery, our dear boy slides out of his chains and runs off to freedom.

Okay, maybe accidentally getting paint in my mouth yesterday has made me dopier than I thought...:)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

I'm shocked the paint wasn't taken under terrorist considerations... They could be hiding bombs in the paint cans!