salixbabylon: (SPN J2 true love)
salixbabylon ([personal profile] salixbabylon) wrote2009-05-04 04:42 pm

Fic: If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together (21/26)

Title: If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together
Author: [livejournal.com profile] salixbabylon
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Word Count: 538
Disclaimer: No offense meant at all to the real guys. This is just fiction, people.

Summary: Jared and Jensen take a romp through the alphabet, teasing each other relentlessly all the way. AKA domestic schmoop, guy-style.

Notes: Thanks go out to everyone who contributed word prompts – [livejournal.com profile] aelfwitchfic, [livejournal.com profile] okinay, [livejournal.com profile] tularia, [livejournal.com profile] sarka, [livejournal.com profile] anorienparker, [livejournal.com profile] violetlemon47, [livejournal.com profile] gigglingkat, [livejournal.com profile] baileymoyes, [livejournal.com profile] griffndor, [livejournal.com profile] autumn_witch78, [livejournal.com profile] seanlily, [livejournal.com profile] arieltachna, and [livejournal.com profile] sileya. And of course to [livejournal.com profile] sarka for her writing help and betaing.



If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together



U is for Urban, from [livejournal.com profile] griffndor


"Yeah, yeah, oh!" Jared groaned, shivering as he came all over Jensen's stomach and chest. Long moments later he crashed forward onto Jensen, who grabbed him by the hips and thrust deep inside Jared's body a few times until he came, too, biting Jared's shoulder hard enough to leave a mark.

Weak sounds and feeble movements eventually penetrated Jared's afterglow fog.

"Mmm?"

"Off," Jensen gasped, hands half-heartedly pushing at Jared's shoulders. "Can't breathe."

Jared dutifully rolled to the side so they could both catch their breaths after the marathon sex that had both started and ended with Jared on top, and had required the use of four condoms in between. They were both covered in sweat and come, the sheets were just as gross, and every cell in Jared's body was relaxed and satisfied.

With a sudden shriek Jensen bolted upright, clutching the sheets to his chest like a scandalized maiden. Harley, standing beside the bed, cocked his head with a puzzled look.

"He licked me!"

Jared looked at his dog, then his lover, then the dog again. "He does that. You're probably all salty and you smell like me. He likes me."

"No, assface," Jensen said, kicking him. "He licked me. Like, right by my cock! Your spooge!"

Jared couldn't help it; he cracked up laughing. Jensen, of course, retaliated with physical violence, although they were both too drained for it to turn into much more than a moment of unenthusiastic wrestling.

"He's just a dog; he doesn't know it's wrong."

"Those are personal, private areas," Jensen huffed, pulling the sheet back up to cover said areas.

"Dogs don't have private areas," Jared grinned, patting the bed and inviting Harley up. Sadie rose from her bed in the corner and joined them, nudging up beside Jensen's hip.

"What, were you worried he'd get too into it?" Jared asked, poking Jensen in the side. "Like that story about the dude who put peanut butter on his cock to get the dog to lick it off and instead ended up getting so mauled the docs couldn't save his dick?"

Jen reached down and cupped a protective hand around his balls. "Can we not talk about things like that right now? I'm feeling traumatized."

"How about the woman who wanted to play a joke on her fat slob of a husband? She put a turkey neck sticking out of his underwear when he was napping on the sofa, and the family dog started gnawing on it. The poor guy died of a heart attack."

"That's totally just an urban legend, dude. The one about the deep-fried chicken head in a box of chicken nuggets is true."

Jared stuck out his tongue. "It is not, you liar. How about the deep-fried rat one from KFC, though? That's why they don't have 'chicken' in the restaurant signs anymore."

"I thought that was because they use genetically modified things that aren't really chickens anymore."

"Whatever; it's gross,” Jared said, petting Harley for a few moments. "You know what? I'm hungry."

"Alert the media," Jensen said, rolling his eyes.

"We could order in."

Jensen shook his head, climbing out of the bed and heading toward the shower. "Just so long as it's not chicken."

V is for Virtual Reality


website design quote

[identity profile] flinchflower.livejournal.com 2009-05-04 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
*Wipes tears of laughter away*

"He licked me!"

*dies laughing some more*

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
*huge grin* So glad my sense of humor tickled you. :)

[identity profile] hildigunnur.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
That was awesome. I really like how it starts off with some scorching sex and then ends with much hilarity.

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! :) You know J2 - the humor is never far behind. That's why I love them so much.

[identity profile] elless18.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
*giggles*

Poor scandalized Jensen. Hee!

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Jensen's secretly kind of uptight. ;)

[identity profile] berrylicious877.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
Pets and sex can be tricky.

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Not to mention emotionally scarring. Or perhaps that's just Jared. ;)

[identity profile] dissonant-dream.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
It does not get better than this :D Hot sex and then hilarity and boys being adorable. I love it. ♥

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
*smooshes you* Thank you, love. I just adore these boys so much. :)

[identity profile] griffndor.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
"urban legend" - great use of the prompt! You rocked it! Thanks for sharing. :)

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you - it was a challenge! GLad the results were to your liking. :)

[identity profile] yellowwolf5.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Lol! Poor Jensen! XD hahaha.

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Scandalized! :) He's so much fun to torment. At least, that's what Jared and I think.

[identity profile] fanofsuper.livejournal.com 2009-05-07 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Poor Jensen, he is so traumatized & all Jared can do is laugh at him (not that I blame him LOL!)

This was really great !

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-05-08 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Hehehe! Thanks for reading! :)

[identity profile] fanofsuper.livejournal.com 2009-05-17 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
You're welcome

[identity profile] adja999.livejournal.com 2009-07-02 11:41 am (UTC)(link)
Oh god. i'd freak out too, poor Jensen.

I love how the conversation goes side tracked all the time with those two.

[identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com 2009-07-05 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
It's been fun writing them like that - I often had no idea where I was going until I was there. ;)

[identity profile] 120cassie.livejournal.com 2010-02-01 10:45 am (UTC)(link)
Another one to make me LOL..

And now I am VERY late for work..but I HAVE to finish..

Hugs
Julie