BLECH

i'm whiny and tired and i hate Real Life.

my beautiful sleek shiny car is in the shop getting his dent and scratches repaired from when he was attacked by trees a few weeks ago (i thought being pagan was supposed to make the trees *like* me!) and i MISS HIM more than i ever thought possible. i had no idea i'd anthropomorphized him so much. my husband's car is weak and impersonal and boring.

i've finished half of my take home exam and am now just vibrating with restless energy until i get part 2 emailed to me tonight. geh! i can't wait for this damn class to be over.

have made plans to go to a club in nowheresville that apparently features latina drag queens karaoke-ing to Madonna and Shakira. am taking the husband, but going with mostly gay friends. maybe they'll hit on my sweetie - i love that! *g* nothing like seeing him smooch other boys...

also get to find residential in-home care for my great aunt who seems to be trying to go into a diabetic coma... i'm just all a big heap of confused emotions about this. i want her to be happy. i know her quality of life is poor. i don't want her to die. i don't want her to be sad. i don't want to prolong her suffering. i don't want to be responsible for making her sad or for passively letting her die. i know old age and death are "just a part of life" but damn, it's so depressing. *le sigh*

feeling unloved lately.
or just tired.
blech

want to stay home and write and write and write and research and sleep and go hiking and bake bread and seduce the houseboy (hey, as long as i'm in fantasyland... ;)

three more days