Pervy Slash Whore

So a few months ago a friend posted a link on Facebook that was Relevant to My Interests: http://sameatschildren.tumblr.com/post/45962915522/do-it-now-guide-to-proper-bra-fit-and-measuring

I’ve had huge boobs my entire life – I used to joke that the Breast Fairy (like the Tooth Fairy) stopped by my house in 7th grade and just dropped off her entire load for the month on my chest. I’m pretty disproportionate – even in high school at 110 lbs, I was all tits and ass, wearing a poorly-fitting 34D cup. I’ve been wearing a 38DDD for about the last fifteen years, and I’ve been fitted a few times, but I’ve always suspected bras were meant to be more comfortable than they are.

So I read the article above, and I was terrified of what the results might be. I talked to Elin, who is both quite busty and also spent a winter working at a lingerie shop. She offered to do it with me. Armed with tape measures, figurative loins girded, I measured myself in California while she measured herself in Iceland.

The instructions are to do underbust, then bend over and measure over your nipples. I got 36 inches for the first measurement. And 49 inches for the second measurement – a 13 inch difference. According to the chart on the website, that would make me a 36M.

I remeasured. I measured in the other two positions. I took an average. Still M. I cried a little.( Read more... )

1) Anyone know how I could find out what theatrical plays "cool famous people" are in this season in London? I'm having bad google-fu today and can't figure out what to search on. Shockingly, "London theater" doesn't provide me with things like whether Ian McKellen or Ewan McGregor or other hotties are in anything.

2) A friend has asked me for recs and I've got nothing. She said, "Fifty Shades of Grey woke up some lovely naughtiness in me that I'd like to keep awake, but most of the stuff I've been grabbing on my kindle is pretty bad. "

Anoyne got anything (non-fanfic) to share?

Thanks!

We have a new best friend...



We adopted him this morning. His name is Hershey, he's 6, and he's a big spazzy happy boy. :)

I had this weird moment last night where I realized I had relaxed. For the first time in... three weeks maybe? No exaggerating either. I was almost giddy with the feeling of looseness in my body.

Nothing catastrophic happened. I had a semi-work-related trip in early February, and came back home to being a bit behind with work, and a looming deadline for the anthology. For some reason my psyche decided that this also would be a fabulous time to be emo about the possibility of getting a new-to-us dog soon, so my emotions were all over the place and I was pretty stressed out.

Then there was some last-minute chaos with the anthology, that turned into two 12-hour days and the diversion of something that would have been a disaster if the relevant people hadn't stepped up and been awesome (me included). Luckily, they/we were awesome.

Then some utter crap happened with work, and that was pretty bad but I'm not going to discuss it here. Any week I have to email and spend time on the phone with legal counsel is not a good week, we will simply say. And even though the shitstorm was not focused anywhere near me personally, I had inadvertently added some fuel to the fire, I felt truly awful about it. So there were some anxiety attacks.

Basically, all my emotions have been turned up to 11 since mid-February. Only not the good ones. And I have a habit-pattern of doing this really unhelpful thing where I *think* that by getting super clenched and anal-retentive, I can exert a modicum of control over the situation. But even if that works (which it usually doesn't, because I'm not stupid enough to fall for such blatant lies), it doesn't change the circumstances in any way other than by increasing my upset feelings and making my to-do list longer and making me feel more overwhelmed.

But that was then. Now is now. I have been dancing. And I've actually lost a tiny tiny bit of weight. And I've been going outside and telling my daffodils how pretty they are (they're so vain). And my in-laws visited and we had delicious food and they stayed at a hotel (yay), and we went to a goat farm and held baby goats and made cheese. (Harley Goat Farms)

And I'm working on a silly crafty project with a friend (pics coming soon). And I've been writing a little bit, but mostly doing research and then writing out-of-context kinky porn. And I go to New York city in 10 days. And I'll be "teaching" a belly dance class, and doing a kinky-toys demo for a bunch of authors.

So things are getting better. :)

1) Sorry I dropped the ball on all the V-Day activities I usally try to do. Just know that if you can read this, I think you're special and I'm glad you have you in my life. :)

2) Never underestimate the importance of stretching before sex. Especially if it's been 5 months. And especially if you spent 18 of the previous 24 hours sitting on airplanes and in airports. Pulled muscles in the groin hurt.

3) Cannot think of how to top last year's V-Day festivities of Chinese take-out and "Big Trouble in little China". Suggestions would be most welcome!

4) Thank you for the sparkly hearts v-gifts! I hope your day is full of delights and unexpected pleasures. *hugs*

I'm apaprently a Wikipedia addict. Here is the list of highly important things I WROTE DOWN TO LOOK UP LATER:

Is Trent Reznor married?
What is abseiling?
Is kryptonite a real element?
What is the symbolic "meaning" of moonstones? And what actually are they?
Who is Kal-El?

How can I survive without answers to important questions like this???

However -

The comments in fandomsecrets's SOPA/PIPA post today are just BRILLIANT. I think I hurt a muscle in my chest laughing so hard. :)

1) Communication really is the key to avoiding crankiness. Especially in person or voice, not text. Just being able to hear the warmth of someone's tone, the gladness that you've reconnected, the shared emotions that get so muted in text. Yes.

2) Nothing quite like the yeasty yummy smell of bread making. Although is it ever possible to eat just one serving of fresh-baked bread? Clearly I can't do this very often. (Also, thanks to someone's adjective choice in fanfic MANY years ago, I now cannot smell yeast without thinking of man-balls.)

3) Belly dance! Jingle jiggle jingle! I forgot how much I loved to dance, how it makes me almost laugh with delight to move through space, sinuous and free and fun. I am so glad to be doing this again, even if my body is sore and will have a steep incline to get back to where I was three years ago. Zagareet!

4) 2012 is the looking like a year of happy travel. So far I'm going to Orlando in February, New York in March, London in June, and maybe Provincetown in July. Good thing I asked for luggage for xmas!

5) I don't know if it's the full moon or what, but my brain is like a hamster on crack this week. I feel like I'm starting to fray apart after three days of a total inability to focus. I'm amused, though, that it turns out that with all that grief and loss last year, I programmed my brain to self-soothe with crocheting. So that's what I'll be doing tonight.

6) Writing original fiction is hard. I've got bits and pieces of the story I'm working on, but I'm so used to knowing all the details about my boys and their universe *first* that this is extra difficult for me. Also, I have no idea if anyone wants to read it - I lost most of my audience when I quit writing SPN, and I never really got into writing Inception fics... I miss fandom squee, but I don't have time for any non-job reading these days. Woe unto me. ;)

7) I wanted a seventh thing but I don't have on so I'm jut writing nonsense because I like 7 things better than 6. Yes.

Two free plot bunnies, born of my frustration reviewing submissions:

1) I am sick of reading gruesome stories about clones and the awful things people do them. Please, someone, write me a story about clones and how nice it would be to treat them well!

2) You know that first boyfriend in all the stories, who wears glitter and flounces around and isn't all that into the main character, not out of spite but because he's a ditz and the main character can do so much better? I want to see his story, the flouncing, glittery ditz. Make me love him. :)

And please, for the love of god, no more werewolves and vampires, unless you've got an outstandingly unique twist...