(no subject)

[salixbabylon]

My apologies to everyone I've been whining at about work lately, especially last night. Yesterday was one of those PMS-inspired "I've had it" moments. On the plus side, I did realize a few things:


I hate my job.
I have hated it to various degrees for as long as I can remember.
I have been here for 6 years.
Due to budget cutbacks, I have had *two* raises.
My last raise has been "in process" since October 2004.
In the last year, about half the people I liked in this office have left.
I have felt incredibly trapped and unable to quit, even to go to school full-time, since my husband has, for the last six years, either been independently employed with no health insurance or been partially employed and making less than I do.
I have had a lot of anger and jealousy growing that he "gets" to spend so much time at home and not work full time and it's really hurting our relationship.
Work is just going to keep getting worse, probably. And even if it does improve, I doubt I'll be happy.
I need a job where I feel like I'm actually doing something vaguely useful for the world. I do not get even a hint of that in my job anymore.
Maybe I should actually consider using my MLIS.
No one is going to give me a job unless I ask for it.
Much as I would like to be self employed, offering sex workshops and writing smut, it's not going to earn me $35K annually until I have been doing it for a while.

So:
I need to update my resume (untouched since 1998).
I need to start looking at other jobs, perhaps in libraries.
I need to let go of caring what happens around here so much.

Blech.

ANyway...



Five Good Things *Right Now*:
1. pbj sandwich on home made wheat bread for breakfast
2. no meetings scheduled for today
3. sample resumes located, along with current job description
4. can play music since coworker isn't in yet
5. feeling slightly less trapped and likely to gnaw off my own arm

(That's a much more difficult list to come up with at work. :P )

Comments

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

"Being that miserable... isn't worth it" -- you are so right. Occasionally I think I still have this idiotic idea that suffering has a purpose in itself.

Thank you for the encouraging words - I'm polishing the resume and starting to look at job openings this weekend! :)

[niennas-dreams.livejournal.com]

I know, sometimes I think, I don't want it to be easy, you should have to work for things, but then I think, why am I wallowing in the suffering? Is that really any good either? There should be a balance, perhaps, but honestly!

Good luck! I hope you're getting somewhere and that you find a little niche somewhere that's perfect for you.

*hugs*