terrorist lube

So for the last three months, the place where I buy lube has been out of the kind I like, Liquid Silk. Finally, this morning, I officially, thoroughly, totally ran out, and was reduced to using hand lotion. So I asked a friend of mine who recently got a job at Good Vibrations, what was up. She said that the shipment was embargoed by the Department of Homeland Security.

No kidding. They took my lube.

*boggle*

Is it terrorist lube? Does it contain secret chemicals that make me an anti-American, anti-Republican, liberal, pinko communist? Will it turn me into an international spy?

DOES MY LUBE THREATEN NATIONAL SECURITY????

I've had it. George Bush is going down. I've never been very political before, but I've had it. If I'm not gettin laid, ain't nobody gettin laid til that bastard is out of office.

NO ORAL SEX FOR REPUBLICANS

This time, it's personal.