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[personal profile] salixbabylon
Some people have tips about travel, some about cooking. Me, I recently found myself writing a lot about the removal of clutter to [livejournal.com profile] sarka and realized some other people might be interested, too.

So here are Salix's Tips For Getting Rid Of The Crap:


I used to have a lot of crap in my house and I couldn't find things and it drove me nuts. Plus, keeping fewer things means less things to clean up later on -- a small amount of tidying up every week means no huge projects like cleaning out an entire closet packed floor-to-ceiling with stuff.

Now I periodically go through the house to see the areas where I've started "collecting" things again - the hallway closed, under the bed in the guest room, the linen cabinet. I know getting rid of things can be hard, especially when we have emotional attachments to things and/or the fear of poverty in our pasts. So I don't want to sound at all dismissive about the urge to gather, but here are some of the criteria I use to decide what goes:

1. If you haven't used it in 2 years and don't immediately think you will use it in the next 6 months, get rid of it. This is especially crucial for clothing.

2. Allow yourself some sentimentality. For me, it's one small box of "memorable" clothes (which no longer fit), and a box of diaries/whatnot. I have the old love letters. Some of the trinkets, too. Set a size limit. When the space/box gets too full, decide what has less meaning (I kept the love letters and got rid of the concert tickets and dried flowers.)

3. Childhood stuff/knickknacks have a place, but eventually I ended up getting rid of most of mine. I kept the one favorite stuffed animal that I loved the best and got rid of the others. Any time you can separate out the *one* thing that's most meaningful, let yourself keep it and get rid of the rest. Focus on how good you were to get rid of the other 30 stuffed animals. For example. *cough*

4. Class notes from school: I kept some stuff that stood out - "oh wow, I remember writing this story when I was 7" and got rid of the notebooks of algebra and geometry and stuff. If it brings fond memories, keep the class notes. If you honestly think they're useful (using the 2 years-past, 1 year-forward) rule, keep it. If not, toss it.

5. Be reasonable about crafts and hobbies - yes, if you ever decide to take up painting again, you'll wish you hadn't gotten rid of the easel. But will you really take it up again? Could someone else use it? Can you sell it for money and (mentally) apply that later if/when you need to buy a new easel? Hobbies suck because they're often a big investment to get started, but if you're done with it, that's all right - let it go. You're allowed to change your mind about what interests you over time.

Be as ruthless as you possibly can be, and then be sure to reward yourself with movies, drinking, desserts, and hot baths. Or whatever makes you happy.

Note: the first time I did a big purge, it *hurt*. I cried. I drank too much port. I whined to everyone I knew. And then a few days later, I felt *so* much lighter in spirit. Getting rid of the *stuff* helped me let go of the past in ways I never even imagined. And then I had so much spare room, too! :)

Date: 2006-09-03 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mellacita.livejournal.com
How cool. :)

I will say I am and always have been ruthless about stuff. We moved 5 times before I was 18, then I lived in 5 different dorms in colleges I had to fly to, then I lived in 4 studio apartments the largest of which is 500 square feet. I don't have anything from my childhood and only one or two clothing items that are more than 5 years old. One day I will probably regret it but for now I like the feeling of knowing I dont have stuff to tie me to a particular place.

Date: 2006-09-03 04:47 am (UTC)
ext_1911: (rollin' golden hills)
From: [identity profile] telesilla.livejournal.com
We moved all over the world in the '70s and early '80s and the company my dad worked for shipped even less weight overseas for us than the military did for their people.

Much later in life I went from sharing a three bedroom, one office house with my ex to renting a 10x12 room. So much of my stuff stayed with her and after two years when the thought of dealing with her again was so much worse than not having things that meant a lot to me, that I just let it all go.

And now? I am ruthless. I didn't really have time when Nancy moved out here to get her to throw things away. But by the time she and I stopped sharing the above mentioned room and moved in to this place, I had my back bone firmly in place and we threw out a lot of stuff.

It's not always easy. When I think about it, I hate the fact that my ex-wife still has my grandmother's china, all my Christmas ornaments, and one of my Iranian carpets, but in the end, they're just things. I still have the memories.

Date: 2006-09-03 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosmanor.livejournal.com
have just thrown out some dead computer hardware that was loitering in the living room. Didn't say anything, but no one else that lives here has leapt out of their rooms to reclaim it, so it might be a success!

Date: 2006-09-03 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andolinn.livejournal.com
What a lovely symbiosis... I am reading another of Rachel Reman's books and one of her cancer patient clients was telling Rachel about realizing that she had too much, which prevented her from experiencing enough. I started processing that for myself.

I am fairly ruthless about bringing objects into the house unless a)they have a use or b)they make me happy. Clothing, plants and books are my weaknesses, but I cull clothes and books annually and I refuse to buy a plant unless I have a space for it in the yard. (I have thrown out hundreds of dollars worth of plants over the years that I had no space for and they just died in their pots!)

I think this ties in with the idea of actually seeing, experiencing and enjoying that which remains. I was wondering what the point was of eating 20 chocolate covered almonds while typing comments and paying no attention to how they taste. Because then I have to exercise the buggers off my belly. So, perhaps I am better off actually sitting down with 5 and savoring them - actually enjoying eating them. That translates to enjoying the clothing you are wearing, bubble bath you are taking, orchid you have blooming.

Thanks for posting this - it's an important idea in a world where objects are so often substituted for love. *hugs*

Date: 2006-09-03 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mellacita.livejournal.com
Oh and I meant to add--it's best if you can give away the stuff rather than trashing it. So much trash already in the world. It's why I do my periodic LJ garage sales, consignment, thrift stores, charity, etc. I especially like giving work clothes i don't wear much anymore to projects that give poor women and women transitioning back into the workforce good clothing for interviews, etc.

Date: 2006-09-03 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] causette.livejournal.com
this is very cool. I've always been very brutal with throwing out things, it's actually a problem with me at work cause I want to throw everything out and I cant :P

But yeah, I only have one room that is my space and it's usually very messy. Most of the time it's just cloths everywhere. Cause I'll wear a sweater one day, and the next I'll wear some different jeans and so on and so on but the cloths aren't dirty after just one use so they don't need to be washed but of course I don't want to put them back in my closet with all the clean laundry. So they pile up on my bed and when I go to sleep, they end up on the floor. And that pile just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it's just hard walking on my floor. hehe. I really have no system for the slightly-used cloths that are not dirty.

And another problem of mine is my desk. It's just a huge pile of mess!! I can not manage to keep it clean. It stays like that for maybe 3 days after I tidy it but then it just goes back to being a pile of dirt. I keep all sorts of things on my desk but mostly it's just for junk that has no place.

I am not sentimental about things but I do find it hard to throw out cause I'm always thinking, "oh I'm going to need that one day..." or something like that.

Oh Clutter Queen, do you have any tips for me? :P

Date: 2006-09-03 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
When you move a lot, you do have to be ruthless. Unfortunately, some of us rebel against that trend once we are living on our own and collect stuff simply because we couldn't as children. I think for some people it's a real psychological disorder, like fear of scarcity or something. My dad lives alone in a 3 bedroom house, packed floor to ceiling in every room, with all kinds of random crap - a box of 12 bottles of shampoo "because it was on sale" comes to mind.

On the other hand, some up learn that our brains store the memories with or without physical props. Sometimes I actually *miss* moving every few years because it was so much easier to get rid of stuff when you have to pack it all up. It's so liberating! :)

Date: 2006-09-03 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Getting rid of family heirlooms is difficult, I agree. There's the sense of tradition to carry on, but at some point it's just a box of stuff you're never going to use. I inherited all of my great-aunt's belongings and yeah. Tossing stuff was hard, but WTF was I going to do with a box of lace hankies?

That's rough when other people end up with your "good stuff", but you make an excellent point - we call these things "keepsakes", but we can remember them without the physical item. And really, if you're going to forget the event/person without it, it's not that important to you anyway.

Date: 2006-09-03 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Hehehe! My husband has a fit when I try to get rid of stuff - just yesterday we cleaned out the shed and I made him toss out a monitor. Not the last monitor before the current one, but the one from before that. Tech stuff seems harder for people to let go than other things.

I wonder if that because it's expensive, like the hobby stuff, and if they had an emergency and needed it, they'd feel upset.

Good luck on your toss!

Date: 2006-09-03 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
realizing that she had too much, which prevented her from experiencing enough.

That's such a good way of putting it. When people have too many things, they feel buried and stressed out, like they should be cleaning up rather than going for a walk in the park. I find it such a relief to have things be mostly tidy that I can't fathom coping with a house that's as cluttered as my parents/friends. I would go crazy.

I too am pretty ruthless about bringing stuff into my house. It has to have a purpose and a spot that it will go. I hardly ever buy books anymore because I have so many I need to read already. Clothes I tend not to buy because I don't need them and hate clothes shopping at my current size. I'm not into music. Slash is free. Makes it easy to save money! (Or to indulge when I want to - new outfit for Toronto and I've "saved" up for it, so I can splurge guilt-free.)

I was eating my first bit of chocolate in 3 weeks when I got to the end of your comment - and I enjoyed that 1/2 of a candy bar mroe than just about any other in recent years. I closed my eyes and savored the last few bites, and wow! So much better than just wolfing it down!

Objects for love - I do understand that feeling, totally. But it's so liberating to let go and get your good feelings from another source. You let go of all the emotional baggage, too.

Date: 2006-09-03 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Absolutely - I often ask friends if they need/want stuff, and then I take everything that might possibly be useful to the local women's shelter. Once, I even saw someone wearing a dress I'd owned! It feels so good and is such an easy way to help other people out.

Date: 2006-09-03 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
I occasionally got in trouble at various jobs for throwing things out. Ah well. Comes a point where, if no one knows what something was for, it's time to toss it.

My "lightly worn" clothes I put on top of my dresser, so they don't end up on the floor. We have a dog, so floor = hairy = clothes now dirty. Every few days I clean off the dresser and decide if the armpits are smelly or oops, I forgot about the dog jumping on me, and put things back in the drawers/closet or the laundry bin. It's not like they infect the other clothes they're touching. ;)

Desk - I try to clean mine up once a week. That said, yeah... My desk is usually a bit of a mess. I have a "soon" pile, a "now" pile, a "someday" pile, and a "to file/goes somewhere else" HUGE pile. That one really only gets cleaned up twice a year when I do a thorough house cleaning in every room.

Junk that has no place... at some point you have to ask why it doesn't have a place. Is it useful/you're using it regularly? OK then. If not, then toss it. Knickknacks and desk toys can be deadly. Try shoving them all in a bag/box for a month and see if you miss them. I missed my princess crown (it helps me think) and my fuzzy viking figurine and my essential oil burner. Everything else was just taking up space and I gave it to goodwill.

We all have to have our vices. So long as they are small and controllable, it's ok. No one's perfect. *hug*

Date: 2006-09-03 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oceansecrets2.livejournal.com
It'a a lot easier when you don't have a packrat husband who goes through the trash saying "why are you throwing this out?" I've actually had to sneak stuff out when he wasn't home so I could be sure it didn't turn back up again! :-D

Date: 2006-09-03 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] causette.livejournal.com
it probably took me over two hours today to clean my desk but I did it!!! =D YAY! And I threw out so many papers that I'm never looking at again and don't need them. I think I need a bigger trash bin because mine is really small and usually I don't want to fill it up right away with a shitload of papers and so they rather just stay on my bed instead of going in the bin right away. I think getting a bigger trash bin will help me a lot with trying to keep my desk clutter-free.

Date: 2006-09-04 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heartofslash.livejournal.com
*is almost scared to have you see my house*

Date: 2006-09-04 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alliwantisanelf.livejournal.com
Wonderful advice!

I think tomorrow will be truly a "Labor Day", and that I'll see if I can get to the top of my desk here. There are lots of places and things in this room where I've stashed stuff I'm never gonna use, like the three gallon-sized bags of tiny pompoms in all different colors that I bought to use at Girl Scouts and didn't need. I'll bet the elementary school or LP's art teacher can find a good use for those!

I've been wanting to do my closet for a long time. Maybe tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for?

Thanks, luv! Your post is gonna help a lot of people, I hope!

(((hugs)))

Date: 2006-09-04 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Awesome! Don't forget to reward yourself for good behavior. :)

It's so great when you can identify an easily-resolvable problem source - get a bigger trash bin! I love it!

Date: 2006-09-04 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Totally! Cleaning my dad's house is the same way, and occasionally even my own. I go through the kitchen on a "goodwill" sweep when my husband is gone - it's just easier that way. Sometimes I have t stash stuff in the trunk of my car to avoid ebing found out. It feels very cloak-and-dagger, but hey - whatever it takes. ;)

Date: 2006-09-04 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Feh. It was just a list of suggestions, not rules for everyone. I'll love you no matter what. *hug*

Date: 2006-09-04 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Yay! Good luck to you and don't forget to stop and tkae breaks and reward yourself. I forgot to say that I almost always put on loud bouncy music and work for the length of one cd/no more than an hour. If it starts to feel like "work" then it's time for a break.

I personally find that closets deserve chocolate AND a hot bath, particularly if you've gotten rid of shoes. ;)

Date: 2009-03-21 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfscribe5.livejournal.com
I am the worst packrat and my husband is the opposite. He wants to throw out everything. He recently threw out a bag of grout that now we need. On the other hand, I keep stuff thinking I'll want it again and then forget I have it, so it doesn't do me any good. Somewhere there must be balance.

Date: 2009-03-22 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
The way I look at it, you're going to inevitably throw away a few things you'll want later. But it's way better than living feeling crowded and like you cna't find anyhting, IMO. ;)

BUt that's a personal choise - clutter doubles my stress level like you wouldn't believe. I literally CANNOT work when I feel buried.

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