random melancholia

[salixbabylon]

My brain is in the weirdest place lately. I think being sick really fosters a bad kind of introspection. When you're just lying there, random things traipse across your brain that have no business being there.

I found myself replaying sections of DementorDelta's "Parseltongue-tied", dovielr's "Staffroom Seductions", Lostiawen's "Boundaries", dovielr's essay on BDSM, Lady Green's manual on spanking, olivia_lupin's image of Draco singing to a wounded unicorn, conversations with an ex-something-boyfriend-type about BDSM, and my own current writing projects.

Things which ought not be intertwined.

So now I'm in this weird mood, wanting to write, wanting to get homework just DONE already so I can write guilt-free, and just... melancholy for no reason. I don't understand why sometimes I hear a song on the radio and get this lovely blue feeling. Like I can sympathize with lost love and romantic pain... I mean, I do, I can, I think... but really, my life is honestly so ridiculously romantically sappy. I've been with my sweetie for 10 years, love him to bits, and we have a great sex life.

So why do I feel this weird tug and get all weepy when I hear a sad song? I'm not pining over long-lost-lovers. I mean, good riddance to them, really. Boys suck. And girls are complicated.

I dunno. Stupid really, to be so aimlessly blue.

But I am.

*shrug*

I'm posting Orli/Viggo RPS to the list tomorrow. *shudder* It's been so long since I shared anything smutty that I'm all nervous. Silly. Wasn't I supposed to grow out of being moody and/or insecure at some point? Maybe everyone else is just pretending, and no one ever grows out of moods, truly.

Hmm...