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salixbabylonTitle: If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
salixbabylon
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17 (eventually, I promise)
Word Count: 930
Disclaimer: No offense meant at all to the real guys. This is just fiction, people.
Summary: Jared and Jensen take a romp through the alphabet, teasing each other relentlessly all the way. AKA domestic schmoop, guy-style.
Notes: Thanks go out to everyone who contributed word prompts –aelfwitchfic, okinay, tularia, sarka, anorienparker, violetlemon47, gigglingkat, baileymoyes, griffndor, autumn_witch78, and seanlily. And of course to sarka for her writing help and betaing.
If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together
F is for Forest, from anorienparker
"Shit!"
Jared sat down on a log, brushing his hands over his knees, and gave his friend a disgruntled look. "That's right, Jensen. Throw a tantrum. That'll help."
"Shut up, asshole. You're the one who fucking got us lost!"
"I didn't get us lost. I just got us a little... turned around."
"And how is that different from getting lost?" Jensen ranted. "I feel like Hansel and Gretel, without the trail of fucking breadcrumbs."
"Or your lederhosen outfit."
Jensen gave him a death glare that immediately made Jared drop the subject; now was apparently not the time to be joking about codpieces and knee socks.
"Well, we could try again," he offered.
"No," Jensen said. "We will not try again. Trying again has simply gotten us so turned around that neither of us has any idea which way we originally came from, or which of any of these sort-of-maybe paths is actually a deer path versus a real human path that will take us back to the road. Goddamnit! Everything's going to get fucked up and delayed and it's all your fault for wanting to go for a stroll in the woods!"
Jared took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to not get angry. "No one exactly forced you come with me, Jen."
Jensen stared hard at a tree for a second, then let out a breath of his own, shaking his head, and sat down next to his friend. "No, you're right. You didn't make me come with you; I wanted to come."
Jared nodded. Jensen nodded. Jared nudged him with his shoulder. Jensen nudged back.
"So, now that you're done with the drama-queen act, what are we going to do?" Jared asked.
"Well," Jensen said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. "We don't have any reception at all, but we could try texting and hope for the best. I'll send one to the AD, you send one to Jim."
"Good, good," Jared nodded, pulling out his own cell. "Um, where do we tell them we are?"
"It's only been about an hour, so it's probably another half-hour until someone comes banging on our trailer doors looking for us. And a bit after that before they realize that no one has seen us and they send out a search party." He bit his lip, thinking, and frowned.
"Great," Jared sighed. "Well, we weren't walking all that long."
"No, and we probably circled around plenty, too. Best-case scenario, we're not all that far from the road. Worst-case, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere and no one can get a hold of us."
"At least it's a couple of hours before it starts to get dark," Jared offered. "And we're dressed warmly. But we have no food. Or water." He pouted. "I'm hungry."
Jensen patted him on the knee. "There, there."
"I'm not feeling very comforted, Jen."
"Well, I'm not feeling very comfortable, Jared."
"Point taken. So... Let's do the texts. Where do we say we are?"
"I don't know! On a log covered with moss, next to a tree that sort of looks like a ladder and a big rock that kind of looks like a half-moon? Yeah, that'll help."
"Do you hear any water?" Jared asked. "Are we near a river or stream or anything? And what kind of tree is that?"
Jensen gave him a look. "A green one?"
"Oh man. We are so screwed. I thought you were all, like, nature-boy."
"I am, asshole. But only when I'm prepared for it. I could make you a shelter, if you'd like. Or start a small fire. If I had, you know, a knife and some matches. Probably."
"Hey, a fire! Fire's good. It'll make smoke and they can follow the smoke! It's genius!"
Jensen gave him a look. "Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's start a huge bonfire so they can find us. It'll really help once all the trees catch and we start a forest fire. Of course, we'll have a little explaining to do to the forest rangers about why we started a fire in a protected area. Idiot."
Jared stuck out his tongue. "How about just a little fire? Don't you have Dean's lighter?"
In silence, Jensen turned the idea over in his head for a while. He couldn't think of anything better. Reluctantly he admitted defeat and they managed to get a small, smoky fire going with a lot of moss and damp twigs. There wasn't much of a breeze, so the smoke actually did go relatively straight up out of the clearing they were in, to Jensen's surprise.
"Did you hear that?" Jared asked about half an hour later.
"Dude, I'm tired of the fart jokes, okay?"
"No, asshole. I think someone's coming."
A moment later some of the bushes rustled and a guy who worked on lighting appeared. "Hey guys! Can I join your cook-out if I bring marshmallows and hot dogs?"
"Pete! Oh man, it's great to see you," Jensen grinned.
"We kind of figured only a bunch of pyromaniacs like you two would try sending smoke signals in the 21st century," Pete grinned.
"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Jared said, trying to pout.
Pete laughed. "Well, at least you were here with each other, right?"
The two friends grinned at each other. Jared fluttered his eyelashes like a damsel in distress being rescued by her knight. "No one I'd rather be lost in the middle of a forest with," he told Jensen.
Jensen shook his head. "Next time you better remember the marshmallows, dork."
G is for Guitar
Author:
salixbabylonPairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17 (eventually, I promise)
Word Count: 930
Disclaimer: No offense meant at all to the real guys. This is just fiction, people.
Summary: Jared and Jensen take a romp through the alphabet, teasing each other relentlessly all the way. AKA domestic schmoop, guy-style.
Notes: Thanks go out to everyone who contributed word prompts –
aelfwitchfic, okinay, tularia, sarka, anorienparker, violetlemon47, gigglingkat, baileymoyes, griffndor, autumn_witch78, and seanlily. And of course to sarka for her writing help and betaing.If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I'd Put "U" and "I" Together
anorienparker"Shit!"
Jared sat down on a log, brushing his hands over his knees, and gave his friend a disgruntled look. "That's right, Jensen. Throw a tantrum. That'll help."
"Shut up, asshole. You're the one who fucking got us lost!"
"I didn't get us lost. I just got us a little... turned around."
"And how is that different from getting lost?" Jensen ranted. "I feel like Hansel and Gretel, without the trail of fucking breadcrumbs."
"Or your lederhosen outfit."
Jensen gave him a death glare that immediately made Jared drop the subject; now was apparently not the time to be joking about codpieces and knee socks.
"Well, we could try again," he offered.
"No," Jensen said. "We will not try again. Trying again has simply gotten us so turned around that neither of us has any idea which way we originally came from, or which of any of these sort-of-maybe paths is actually a deer path versus a real human path that will take us back to the road. Goddamnit! Everything's going to get fucked up and delayed and it's all your fault for wanting to go for a stroll in the woods!"
Jared took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to not get angry. "No one exactly forced you come with me, Jen."
Jensen stared hard at a tree for a second, then let out a breath of his own, shaking his head, and sat down next to his friend. "No, you're right. You didn't make me come with you; I wanted to come."
Jared nodded. Jensen nodded. Jared nudged him with his shoulder. Jensen nudged back.
"So, now that you're done with the drama-queen act, what are we going to do?" Jared asked.
"Well," Jensen said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. "We don't have any reception at all, but we could try texting and hope for the best. I'll send one to the AD, you send one to Jim."
"Good, good," Jared nodded, pulling out his own cell. "Um, where do we tell them we are?"
"It's only been about an hour, so it's probably another half-hour until someone comes banging on our trailer doors looking for us. And a bit after that before they realize that no one has seen us and they send out a search party." He bit his lip, thinking, and frowned.
"Great," Jared sighed. "Well, we weren't walking all that long."
"No, and we probably circled around plenty, too. Best-case scenario, we're not all that far from the road. Worst-case, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere and no one can get a hold of us."
"At least it's a couple of hours before it starts to get dark," Jared offered. "And we're dressed warmly. But we have no food. Or water." He pouted. "I'm hungry."
Jensen patted him on the knee. "There, there."
"I'm not feeling very comforted, Jen."
"Well, I'm not feeling very comfortable, Jared."
"Point taken. So... Let's do the texts. Where do we say we are?"
"I don't know! On a log covered with moss, next to a tree that sort of looks like a ladder and a big rock that kind of looks like a half-moon? Yeah, that'll help."
"Do you hear any water?" Jared asked. "Are we near a river or stream or anything? And what kind of tree is that?"
Jensen gave him a look. "A green one?"
"Oh man. We are so screwed. I thought you were all, like, nature-boy."
"I am, asshole. But only when I'm prepared for it. I could make you a shelter, if you'd like. Or start a small fire. If I had, you know, a knife and some matches. Probably."
"Hey, a fire! Fire's good. It'll make smoke and they can follow the smoke! It's genius!"
Jensen gave him a look. "Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's start a huge bonfire so they can find us. It'll really help once all the trees catch and we start a forest fire. Of course, we'll have a little explaining to do to the forest rangers about why we started a fire in a protected area. Idiot."
Jared stuck out his tongue. "How about just a little fire? Don't you have Dean's lighter?"
In silence, Jensen turned the idea over in his head for a while. He couldn't think of anything better. Reluctantly he admitted defeat and they managed to get a small, smoky fire going with a lot of moss and damp twigs. There wasn't much of a breeze, so the smoke actually did go relatively straight up out of the clearing they were in, to Jensen's surprise.
"Did you hear that?" Jared asked about half an hour later.
"Dude, I'm tired of the fart jokes, okay?"
"No, asshole. I think someone's coming."
A moment later some of the bushes rustled and a guy who worked on lighting appeared. "Hey guys! Can I join your cook-out if I bring marshmallows and hot dogs?"
"Pete! Oh man, it's great to see you," Jensen grinned.
"We kind of figured only a bunch of pyromaniacs like you two would try sending smoke signals in the 21st century," Pete grinned.
"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Jared said, trying to pout.
Pete laughed. "Well, at least you were here with each other, right?"
The two friends grinned at each other. Jared fluttered his eyelashes like a damsel in distress being rescued by her knight. "No one I'd rather be lost in the middle of a forest with," he told Jensen.
Jensen shook his head. "Next time you better remember the marshmallows, dork."
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