confessions of a bad fangirl

[salixbabylon]

There are a few things I have to get off my chest...

If you read this, you may hate me forever. But I'm willing to take the risk.


1) I resent Jared and Jensen getting married to girls and asserting their heternormative lifestyle choices in such an in-your-face way. (Just kidding.) But still, them being married takes a lot of the shine off my dollies that I dress up and play with and write stories about. And Jeff having a surprise!girlfriend-with-baby? Don't even get me started on where and why that irritates me.

*pout* They're still hot, but I think I'm done writing about them. I'll just have to go play with my John and Rodney dollies instead...

2) I still don't like "classic" rock - AC/DC, Led Zepplin, and if Journey was deleted from all of human history, I would breathe a sigh of grateful relief.

3) At night when I'm lying in bed, I tell myself the most awful Mary Sue stories ever. Like, picking up a hitchhiking Orlando Bloom, being trapped on a desert island with McKay, being the Inara-style "companion"/whore for Atlantis, being fucked doggie-style by Jared, being the live-in cook for J2, being stuck in an elevator with a claustrophobic Jensen, being a sub and rimming Karl Urban, being one of four women kept on-call by Jeff... Yeah.

And that's not even counting the actual * unconscious dreams*, like being a waitress at a restaurant where Jensen and Danneel go, or walking my dog at the park where Jared goes, or humping Christian Kane while on rollerskates (IDEKWTFBBQ).

4) I am not excited about Season 6 of Supernatural. I miss the random, less plot heavy MOTW episodes from S1 and S2. I hope S6 is more of that, only with Castiel.

5) I'm only going to see an SGA movie if Rodney and John finally shack up. If they pretend they're straight again, I'm boycotting it. Seriously.

That's probably it. Feel free to defriend me now.

Comments

[nverland]

I love you. Just thought you should know that. (Viggo in the shower, Sean over the kitchen table, Viggo....)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehehehe! :)

[ladykatiewench.livejournal.com]

1) I am totally with you on this. My horrible Mary Sue fantasies are having MAJOR issues right now. I don't like fantasizing about boys who are taken. That's not cool to me. I'm having to switch my fantasies from JDM to Kane and as much as I love Kane, he just never made my girly parts (and brain-girly parts) as happy as JDM. Plus, the new pics of his house with the crosses up...yeah, that doesn't do so well in my little non-christian mind.

2) This is one of the few things I disagree with you on. I LOVE my AC/DC. And all the other horrible hair/metal/classic rock bands.

3) Yep. You know that I have my own moments like this. Now, with the issues from #1, instead of having JDM walk me home at night, I've either had to walk home by myself (as opposed to with my imaginary friends?) or with Kane. And I LOVE my gangbang fantasy involving all my pretty mancrushes (sometimes girlcrushes with strapons are involved too).

4) I haven't even finished Season 5. I miss the old days too. I'm with you on hoping Season 6 goes back to more MOTW stuff.

5) I don't watch SGA, but I'm hoping you get your wish here!!

[embroiderama]

Jeff and the crosses--I suspect it's more of a stylistic thing than a religious thing. Like, a holdover from his goth-boy days. He likes them in his jewelry too, and I just don't see him being all religious.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Good to know. I don't know much about him IRL, but I did wonder about that big tattoo...

Speaking of which - you don't have pics of the other one(s), do you? I can't find anyhitng terribly clear to see.

[embroiderama]

I fail at saving and organizing pictures, so probably no. :)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's the not-hitting-on-other-women's-dudes thing. and sadly, I was never into Dean or Sam, so... my muses are upset. But at least in my story, it's AU and at this point, the boys are really just visual cues. So whaetver. :P

Maybe Seteve and Chris can walk you home... Who knows what all they'll get up to. ;)

[dametokillfor.livejournal.com]

RE: 3, I do the exact same thing. When the lights are off and I'm snuggling up to go to sleep, my OTP's don't exist, I am the sole person in existence in the eyes of whoever I'm in the mood for at the time.

RE: 4, I am excited but I'm also nervous. Although from what I've read so far, it looks like it is going to be very MOTW-y next season just with a bit of an arc to tie it together. I can go for that.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehehe! Good to know I'm not the only one telling herself wretchedly good bedtime stories. ;)

That's great news - I've a spoilerphobe, so I don't read any of the news. General tidbits like that are encouraging to hear, though!

[embroiderama]

I think I'm weird in that #1 doesn't bother me at all. My RPF versions of the guys are off in their own little imaginary world being slashy, and their real life relationships don't touch that at all. But then again I also don't like think of them with me in a romantic way. Like, at all. I want me over here and them over there----------->being sexy without me. :D

I do have fantasies about the guys, but they're entirely gen h/c. Like Jeff hugging me when I'm sad or me helping Jensen when he's sick or something ridiculous like that.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Oh totally - most of my fantasies ar enot about sex - the cooking one, the elevator, hitchhiking - it's all just conversation and h/c. Apparently I like making birthday cakes for Jared and Jensen. They're such appreciative eaters. ;)

[second-banana.livejournal.com]

1. That's a pretty common problem with RPS. It's easy to handwave away a girlfriend on a TV show (especially if it's done poorly *cough*Stargate*cough*). It's a different can of worms to handwave away a RL sweetheart, girlfriend, fiance, or spouse. You know, without making the dolly into a cheaterface.

2. I'm kind of meh on AC/DC and Zepplin, but I have a sick sick brutal love affair with Journey. I can't help it! I'm a sucker for a giant power ballad.

3. Well this just makes me like you more. Writing your own Mary Sues in your head is a fine tradition that has kept me interested in many a show long after I otherwise would have left it.

4. Still not watching SPN, but no know I know who watches it seems to really *like* the show anymore...

5. Hehehe. I love their little closet case selves. I think I'll only be bummed if they try to shoehorn Sheppard into a little hetero love story. Rodney... Rodney loves the ladies. The fact that he more than occasionally loves the menz never changed that for me, so I let that slide. And of course, he's still hooking up with John while he takes another stab at heterosexuality.

(See, I have this thing where John and Rodney fall on each side of the Kinsey 3 bisexual like. Rodney's a 2. John's a 4. They both like all parts and permutations, but Rodney will always have a thing for breasts, and John will always have a thing for hairy asses.)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hey you! :) OMG you are awesome - cheaterface dollies! No wonder I wasn't liking playing with them as much, even if they are already gone totally AU. Hee! You said it so well!

I lvoe you despite the Journey thing. Just don't make me lsiten to them.

I love how many people have come out of the closet with their "personal Mary Sue" fantasies. I lvoe that we all do this and have been embarrassed. :)

I can totally see that about Rodney, being bi and loving the boobies, but John... John trips me as queer. He can play staight, can fuck a woman and come, but he's not what he wants. I think he's a 5, I guess. I just want them to be together 4EVATLAOTPNAMBLA. (Oh oops. No NAMBLA. I got carried away with letters. AMMLA maybe [Atlantics Man-Man Love Assn].)

PS - Did we loan you the Veronica Mars dvds? G can't find them and thought maybe they were with you. Also, come visit again. ;)

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

1) I just try to ignore it. Or that is the plan so far lol. I do find it suspicious that they both got married so close together :D Doesn't really interfere with my fanfic enjoyment, since I love AUs

2) I am a kid of the 80s, so I love all the rock :D

3) I hate to read Mary Sues, but I love to fantasize :D I figure that no one wants to read all my hot and heavy fantasies, so I avoid writing them, if at all possible.

4) I just found SPN toward the end of the 4th season. So I am not ready to let the boys go yet, no matter how selfish it is. And I was really disappointed that Castiel got his angel powers back in the finale. I really want him case-solving with the boys next season. I think I almost love him more than the boys!

:D

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehe! I felt that was a little suspicious, too. Why yes, I do have a tinhat around here somewhere...

Exactly! I hate Mary Sues - unless it's ME. :) And yeah< i would never write them down. Someday I might figure out how to write het, but right now, I can't figure it out at all.

Castiel is brilliant - as a character and a plot device. I hope he sticks around!

[uinendolothen.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely adore you. :)

*hugs*

(Not going anywhere, btw. You watched The Calcium Kid with me, for goodness sakes! It's like fighting a cave troll ... or maybe not but kinda ...)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*giggle* It wasn't at all altruistic - I wanted to see it! But I love you anyway. :)

[live-laugh-love.livejournal.com]

I understand #1, I truly do. But you are going to finish the current WIP, right? Please? For the love of all that is good and righteous in the world?

I also understand #2. I can take that kind of music, but only in certain situations. mainly being in a car on a road trip that is going to take several hours.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, those are *my* boys, not J2 relaly, in my mind... And I never leave anything unfinished that I post, I promise. My goal is to finish writing my the end of June. :)

Road trips are exceptions... And occasioanlly, there's nothing like a little Ozzy or BOn Jovi to get your blood pumping. ;)

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

if Journey was deleted from all of human history, I would breathe a sigh of grateful relief.

ROTFL YES PLEASE!!! It's worse for me though - when I was a teenager, Journey was the hottest thing since sliced bread. I'm positive they played that song "When the lights go down in the City" (whatever the fuck it's called) at my prom.

AC/DC on the other hand is a guilty pleasure, esp. cruising down the highway at 80 mph.

And in the privacy of your own home, you can have as many Mary Sue fantasies as you want. *nods* It's only rude if you spring them on others.

*glomps you* Thanks for the daily dose of pretties!

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Journey was just way overplayed... and I refuse to pretend to be nostalgic about music I disiked when it was current. Even if I was only 10 years old. WHEN are the 80s going to DIE? Geez.

The daily dose will end, but the Fridays will continue forever. ;)

[sra-danvers.livejournal.com]

At night when I'm lying in bed, I tell myself the most awful Mary Sue stories ever.

Me too!!! XD But I don't put myself in play, only Harry with anything ;-)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehehe! At least we're making up nice bedtime stories. :)

[nimmy.livejournal.com]

best way to get to sleep ever!

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Mmmmhhhmmmmm! :)

[sarka.livejournal.com]

1) See, an actual girlfriend of an actual person about whom I wrote RPS has complimented me on characterization. Considering that this happened about 3 days into my fannish involvement with any sort of RPS, I think this sort of broke my perspective on that count.

2) There's a bar in Hon-Kawagoe where they change the music to AC/DC, Guns'N'Roses, Foreigner or Metallica the minute I walk in the door. I've been in Japan for two months. *gigglefits*

3) I started this when I was ten and never stopped (well, I wasn't thinking about sex back then, but Mary Sues, yes.) My first reaction, upon discovering fanfic when I was sixteen was: other people do this, too?

4) I sort of want to write a post-season tag for 5 to make this happen. Please stop me?

5) I'm a whore for Stargate. I even watched Universe. I've accepted this as a character flaw.

*friends even harder*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

1) Okay, I have to hear the details of this story. Email me. ;)

2) *facepalm* At least you like good music too.

3) I know! I used to write notes to my BFF in high school about the boys in the books we were reading being into each other. Fanfic was this amazing revelation.

4) NO MORE BUNNIES

5) *sigh* I'll go with you. ;)

I think our friendship is only going to be conducted via email and lj while you are in Japan. but I'll try to get better about writing to you. I was writing R201 today and OMG needed your help so badly. :(

[princesslanie.livejournal.com]

awwwwwwwwww. i love sean, viggo & karl yummmy start writing about them. i'll miss your j2 stories i hope you finish the relationship one.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehehe! No, I'm afraid I'm done with the LOTR cast. I wrote everyhting about them that I intended to - I'm fickle. I will defintely finish R201 because they are more "my" creations in my head than actually based on Jen and Jay and Jeff. I just don't think there's much beyond this in the SPN fandom.

[koulagirl666.livejournal.com]

I don't see it as 'in your face' given how hard I had to try to find out something about either wedding!! But I don't play with them very often, so YMDV. They choose to put a persona out there, and have to compensate when we play with it? Fine, we'll just keep on playing. ;)
(Then again, I did slash someone who was in a srs long term relationship and
wrote them as having marriage problems and then I found out they broke up around that time, so I try not to write around existing relationships in case it comes true again. :p)

I like you more now. =D Thank you for being honest!

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

As usual, sarcasm doens't always translate the way I intended on LJ. NO, they have been very discreet about their love lives reacently. It was less a jab at the guys and more at the "anti-gay marriage" crap that's been in the news lately. Anyway. ;)

[momotastic.livejournal.com]

Hi,I came here for one of your HP/SS fics (something virulentus somnium ... but it seems like it's gone) and found this entry. Well, I share most of your opinions and just wanted to let you know that you're not alone :D

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

:) Virulentus Somnium is right here: http://salixbabylon.livejournal.com/273142.html and the two side-stories are on my Index page. Happy reading!

[momotastic.livejournal.com]

Thanks :D

[dreamerswings42.livejournal.com]

Why would ANYONE defriend you for voicing your own opinions?

Yeah I've had a few of those #3's ;-)

#2... sorry I'm a Zepplin fan... the others yeah I'm with you ;-)

hugs to you xooxoxoxoox

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Heh, I know - once again, sarcasm translates poorly on LJ. Hey, the fantasies are what writers' minds do when we're not actively scribbling. ;) And I'll forgive you the 80s music if you forgive me for the 90s!

*smooch*

[dreamerswings42.livejournal.com]

Actually I tuned out of music in the 80's.... I love Zep from the late 70's ;-) And 90's music isn't all bad.. there were some good boy bands HA!

I think you writers are always writing/creating 24/7!! You see a plot line in everything, you hear great lines for dialog, you find great characters in people you meet all the time! I just think it's how you are hard wired!

xoxoxo

[soar38.livejournal.com]

LOL

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

♥

[illuins-lair.livejournal.com]

1)I totally agree, and I´m not even into that fandom but it´s so true that "taken" rps-objects gets in the way of the creation-of-slashy!smuttiness.

3) *adds hitchhiker!Bloom to own library* Weeeiii!!!

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehehe! Enjoy the hitchiker scenario! :)

[ravyn-09.livejournal.com]

haha. You don't mince words do you?

Well whatever you decide to writ, I'll read it. You are very talented.

I was wondering if you would friend me back. I would like to read more of you fics but some of the are f-locked, plus I love your regular posts as well and would just generally like to be your friend....okay that did sound as corny in my head okay.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Well, there was a bit of sarcasm in that, but it seems like everybody missed it, so I'll have to be more obvious next time. ;)

Thank you for the compliment! Of course I'll friend you - welcome to the insanity and smut!

[molly-millions.livejournal.com]

#2: =:O Oh noes. :O Oh my. Oh dear. Well, I guess I know not to be all up in your grill with that side of me now.

#3: If you only knew my Mary Sues. That's how I fall asleep at night. Sometimes its about people I actually know. Most of the time it's about my fantasy men. Mostly Joshua. Or Obi-Wan/Ewan. My Mary Sue is very slutty, actually she is a lot like me when I was younger but with the sexual appetite I have now. She doesn't wear panties, she bends over and drops things, crawls under tables. *hehe*

Oh and I was with you up to BBQ.

#4: I caught the show this week but I was so hormoned up, I got lost in my head in a BSDM scene with War, Dean & Misha Collins character. *satisfied smile*

De-friend? Nah. ;) Oy, number two is a tough one to take, but you're just so awesome everywhere else, I can forgive that. I'll sacrifice never singing you my killer versions of classic rock tunes. ;)oxox

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*snort* It's really Glee and Supernatural and ... IDEK. Sometimes the fact that the 80s WON'T FUCKING DIE just bug the crap out of me. but then sometimes I totall groove down to Ozzy or Bon Jovi if a song randomly comes on the radio. ;)

*snort again* My Mary Sue mostly just talked to the boys and cooks for them. *sigh*

[phytha.livejournal.com]

@3) Don't we do this all, for hours on end? I surely do, you can't imagine all the naughty things I've done with Viggo and Sean *giggles and blushes*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Hehehe! Sadly, mot of my Mary Sue stories are NOT fantasies! I'm just hanging out, talking, cooking, whatever wih the hot guys. It's so sad. ;)

[justinetre.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend, the Supernatural fan, concurs on point 4. I haven't yet watched it, so can't pass comment.

Myself, the slash fan, concurs on point 1 ;)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, real life makes people less shiny. Ah well. I'll just switch back to fictional characters. :)