weekly catch-up
Aug. 15th, 2003 02:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
salixbabylonI thought I'd take a break for a while, because my brain was tired, but now it's overly full.
#1, Two Amusing Anecdotes - So last night, I'm driving home and I'm stopped at a stoplight. This gorgeous girl walks up to wait to cross the street. Skin that you couldn't describe as anything other than chocolate, except maybe silk, long hair in those millions of tight braids, short skirt, sandals with heels, tank top. Abundant curves that should be illegal. I'm totally drooling, looking at her. She is joined by short-haired blond babydyke, boots, khakis, tight t-shirt, no bra. My brain stops functioning completely. I don't even notice that I'm staring anymore.
Eventually, the blonde smirks at me, which catches my eye. The light is green, and apparently has been for a few moments. I can feel my face, neck, chest, and ears burst into flame as I drive away in amused humiliation.
Today, I notice during yoga class, that I can see into the pool area from the studio. Can, in fact, see a team of swimmer-boys, in their impossibly tiny little Speedos. Blonds, all of them. One pale and slim. I lose my balance and fall out of the yoga pose we're supposed to be holding.
Did everyone on the planet suddenly get really fuckable or am I having hormones again?
#2, Nature is Driving Me Mad - So on the walk to yoga (before the swimmer-flustering), I saw a little black caterpillar starting across the road. "Oh no, Mr. Caterpillar," I thought out loud. "You don't want to do that. It will take you a long time to get across the road, and you might get hit by a car. Plus, I can see that there aren't any green plants over there. You should turn around." Then I realize that I'm GIVING ADVICE TO A CATERPILLAR and am clearly mad. I walk on, leaving the creature to its fate.
On the way back from yoga, I see a little black string in the path. I'm a bit clumsy, and in trying to step over it, I step on it. It's not a string, it's a tiny little snake, and it hisses and strikes at my shoe. I scream like a little girl and run away. I am such an idiot.
But it's not my fault, because Mother Nature is out to get me. Apparently when the tree fell on my brand-new shiny Sevvy-car a few months ago, that was not enough. Now she's determined to drive me insane.
#3, Cosmic DUH! Moment - So I decided that I want a tattoo for my 30th birthday. But I can't figure out what symbol. I've toyed with a few pagan symbols, a few goddess symbols, the idea of a quill, but nothing seems right. As I'm driving to work, out of the blue, not thinking about it at all, I suddenly remember a dream I had around the time of my birthday -last- year. A dream where I had a symbol burned into my forearm, all silvery scar tissue and raised. A symbol I've never been able to find anywhere else, but whose parts are several different symbols, both runes and astrology, male and female, sun and moon, weapons and peace - a symbol of strength. DUH! I have my own symbol.
Now I just have to decide if getting a really small version of that on my inner wrist, over the veins I so often think of as tempting me, is a too-obvious place and will invite too much notice...
#4, Another Spectacular Failure At Giving Up Slash - So my brain really hurt after that flurry of writing, and I told myself I'd stop reading slash for a while. And I did, kind of. I haven't read any HP slash in weeks. Nor even any hetfics, which I consoled myself with the last time I tried to give it up. *het - ew!*
BUT. My friend Lostiawen, who has been pointing me toward PotC slash, finally pointed me to a few archives and things. And I got curious about what she was writing. And it turns out she's written TONS of stuff, mostly LotR and *drumroll* this whole new world that I'd never even heard of, Real Person Slash. (Also, I should thank![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amariel for this.) I had never conceived of such a thing.
I have wasted so much time this week, it's not even funny. It's like there's this whole new flavor or color that I never even knew about. I don't even know if I like it or not, but I'm fascinated nonetheless. And DAMN, I'm astounded at the number of authors who write in all these different fandoms. How much spare time do these people have? I'm blown away.
And slightly afraid that I may be wandering away from the HP world, at least for a while...
#5, Question - So should I finish the PotC fic I started or the stupid sequel to VS that's looking to be novel-length again?
#1, Two Amusing Anecdotes - So last night, I'm driving home and I'm stopped at a stoplight. This gorgeous girl walks up to wait to cross the street. Skin that you couldn't describe as anything other than chocolate, except maybe silk, long hair in those millions of tight braids, short skirt, sandals with heels, tank top. Abundant curves that should be illegal. I'm totally drooling, looking at her. She is joined by short-haired blond babydyke, boots, khakis, tight t-shirt, no bra. My brain stops functioning completely. I don't even notice that I'm staring anymore.
Eventually, the blonde smirks at me, which catches my eye. The light is green, and apparently has been for a few moments. I can feel my face, neck, chest, and ears burst into flame as I drive away in amused humiliation.
Today, I notice during yoga class, that I can see into the pool area from the studio. Can, in fact, see a team of swimmer-boys, in their impossibly tiny little Speedos. Blonds, all of them. One pale and slim. I lose my balance and fall out of the yoga pose we're supposed to be holding.
Did everyone on the planet suddenly get really fuckable or am I having hormones again?
#2, Nature is Driving Me Mad - So on the walk to yoga (before the swimmer-flustering), I saw a little black caterpillar starting across the road. "Oh no, Mr. Caterpillar," I thought out loud. "You don't want to do that. It will take you a long time to get across the road, and you might get hit by a car. Plus, I can see that there aren't any green plants over there. You should turn around." Then I realize that I'm GIVING ADVICE TO A CATERPILLAR and am clearly mad. I walk on, leaving the creature to its fate.
On the way back from yoga, I see a little black string in the path. I'm a bit clumsy, and in trying to step over it, I step on it. It's not a string, it's a tiny little snake, and it hisses and strikes at my shoe. I scream like a little girl and run away. I am such an idiot.
But it's not my fault, because Mother Nature is out to get me. Apparently when the tree fell on my brand-new shiny Sevvy-car a few months ago, that was not enough. Now she's determined to drive me insane.
#3, Cosmic DUH! Moment - So I decided that I want a tattoo for my 30th birthday. But I can't figure out what symbol. I've toyed with a few pagan symbols, a few goddess symbols, the idea of a quill, but nothing seems right. As I'm driving to work, out of the blue, not thinking about it at all, I suddenly remember a dream I had around the time of my birthday -last- year. A dream where I had a symbol burned into my forearm, all silvery scar tissue and raised. A symbol I've never been able to find anywhere else, but whose parts are several different symbols, both runes and astrology, male and female, sun and moon, weapons and peace - a symbol of strength. DUH! I have my own symbol.
Now I just have to decide if getting a really small version of that on my inner wrist, over the veins I so often think of as tempting me, is a too-obvious place and will invite too much notice...
#4, Another Spectacular Failure At Giving Up Slash - So my brain really hurt after that flurry of writing, and I told myself I'd stop reading slash for a while. And I did, kind of. I haven't read any HP slash in weeks. Nor even any hetfics, which I consoled myself with the last time I tried to give it up. *het - ew!*
BUT. My friend Lostiawen, who has been pointing me toward PotC slash, finally pointed me to a few archives and things. And I got curious about what she was writing. And it turns out she's written TONS of stuff, mostly LotR and *drumroll* this whole new world that I'd never even heard of, Real Person Slash. (Also, I should thank
amariel for this.) I had never conceived of such a thing.I have wasted so much time this week, it's not even funny. It's like there's this whole new flavor or color that I never even knew about. I don't even know if I like it or not, but I'm fascinated nonetheless. And DAMN, I'm astounded at the number of authors who write in all these different fandoms. How much spare time do these people have? I'm blown away.
And slightly afraid that I may be wandering away from the HP world, at least for a while...
#5, Question - So should I finish the PotC fic I started or the stupid sequel to VS that's looking to be novel-length again?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-08-20 11:20 am (UTC)I agree that Time is the main thing that creates these illusions of control and lack of it, and agree with the theory behind your ideas completely. It's damned hard to act on it appropriately, though. How can we both learn from life (the Past) and yet let go of the Past, so that we have no expectations of the Present and Future? We are such Time-bound creatures...
Sometimes I am so thankful to not be caught in the mind/body dualism concepts, so thankful to be a spirit in a fleshly body, able to enjoy so many sensual things. Other times, it's difficult not to feel sad from the knowledge that all physical things die and are limited and bound by linear Time.
At least in this incarnation.
If I believe that I always existed and always will, then how am I defining "myself"? Obviously I've only been in this body for 30 years - so does that disprove my believe that the mind/body split is a false concept? Or is it just that this version of "me" is physical, and there may have been and might still be other versions?
A friend of mine has a philosophy that she calls "soul-soup," where the definition of oneself is twofold, being both the individual carrot or pea in the soup, and part of the larger soup itself...
Boy, that's quite the rambling tangent.
Time = confusing.
How's that for a summary? ;)