salixbabylon: (Default)
[personal profile] salixbabylon
Title: Elf Soap
Author: [livejournal.com profile] salixbabylon
Email: salixbabylon@yahoo.com
Word Count: 2579
Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas
Rating: NC-17
Archiving: My site, Aniron, CIB, Mirrormere, list archives, and others upon request ONLY.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Characters and places in this story, which appear in the Lord of the Rings novels, belong to the Tolkien Estate. Tolkien Enterprises, and originated from the genius of J.R.R. Tolkien. I don't make, or intend to make, money out of them. They just wouldn't leave me alone.

Summary: In the early days of the Fellowship's journey, Aragorn learns about the wonders of Elf Soap. Humor/Crack!fic.

Thank yous: To Lostiawen, who encouraged the bunny and helped make the soap. To Willowwing and Joey, who betaed and gave feedback. To Cindy, always.

Author's Note: Liked the story? Buy the soap! Lostiawen and I actually *hand made* soap to go with this bunny, out of all organic materials. Just click the PayPal button at the bottom!



Elf Soap


The Misty Mountains loomed in the south as the Fellowship's path gradually turned uphill. Aragorn estimated that they were about three days away from Eregion, with the Hobbits' short stride taken into consideration. The four half-pint-sized innocents were better travelers than he had anticipated when he'd met them in Bree. The company was making good time, all things considered. Luck had been on their side, both with the mild winter and the lack of any actual danger so far.

Relaxing his stride, he looked around. Today's dawning sky was clear and held a promise of warmth, as the company began to make camp by a small stream where they would rest for the day.

It was in fact unseasonably warmish; the cold winds that had chilled them for the last two weeks had relented. None were as eager to sleep as was usual; instead, quiet conversations about unimportant matters easily turned into stories and remembrances of past adventures. The four Hobbits were listening to Gimli tell of the exotic "marital aids" made of mithril the Dwarves had crafted for the Queens of Men in days long past. Gandalf and Boromir were deep in conversation about the unattractiveness of Gondor's current guardsmen.

But where was Legolas?

The Elf had faithfully brought up the rear of the Fellowship this last fortnight, never complaining, rarely speaking other than to share his observations about the coming weather and likely places to make camp. Aragorn had known him for many years, since the Prince had often visited Rivendell while Aragorn grew to manhood, but yet did not know him well. Legolas had mostly kept company with Elrond's sons when they were about, and the three Elves had often included Estel in their hunting trips, drinking and jesting as youths of any race do. Legolas had not often sought out the young mortal when Elrohir and Elladan were absent, however, and Aragorn had hoped to get to know him better on their journey.

He had observed that Legolas seemed to enjoy the forest more than any other Elves he had traveled with. The last two days he had seen Legolas taking deep breaths of the cool air, as if drinking in the fresh scent of the trees, the crispness of the grasses, and the moist, fertile earth. Apparently the winter season did not hinder Legolas' enjoyment of the natural world, with his keen sense of smell.

On second thought, perhaps it was the increasingly ripe scent of his fellow-travelers that Legolas was seeking to supplant. Elves of course did not perspire, and Legolas was unlikely to have ever before been surrounded by so many unwashed mortals for so long. They were all footsore and travel-stained, to put it delicately; even Aragorn had noticed that the aroma from certain members of the Fellowship was growing less than pleasant. His own probably needed seeing to, as well.

"Excuse me, Gandalf, Boromir," he said, interrupting their debate over whether the guardsmen should be required to shave or not, with the possibility of chafing being the main point of contention. "Did Legolas tell you where he was going?"

Gandalf hid a smirk in his beard as Boromir replied with a huff, "He said he was going to take a look down the river and locate a place to bathe. Prissy Elf."

"He has a point," Aragorn defended. "We haven't had a chance for a proper wash in over two weeks. He has a more acute sense of smell than we do."

"Are you saying the rest of us stink?" Boromir growled, reaching for his sword.

"Now, now," Gandalf held up his hands placatingly. "No need to get in a tiff about different grooming habits. I'm sure a bath would do us all good. Nice warm day for it, too," he smiled. "Legolas said he would refill the water skins and report back. He should be returning any moment now."

Not bothering to reply to either of them, Aragorn walked off towards the river. Some day soon he was going to have to deal with Boromir's attitude, but today was not that day. He rolled his eyes, trying to find the legendary inner calm of the Elves who had fostered him. Not that they hadn't rolled their eyes too, often at him, in that annoying way which conveyed the patience of a long-suffering, eternal being. He stretched his shoulders, trying to ease the stiffness there. He was so tense lately; he could really use a good wank, he thought, as he left the sounds of the Fellowship behind and disappeared into the forest.

*****


Following a deer path down to the river, Aragorn wandered a fair distance from the camp they had set up before he heard a noise. Quiet singing. And... Splashing? Struggling over the roots of a tree fallen across the river, Aragorn stood, stunned.

Legolas was in the river. Nude. Bathing, it seemed. And singing.

Nude.

It bore saying twice, truly.

Pale, luminous skin, touched with pink from the cold water cascading over the fallen tree trunk in a short waterfall. Firm skin, a body lean and muscular, strong and graceful, like a statue that made one feel inappropriate stirring sensations in one's groin. Long-fingered, dexterous hands skimming up and down Legolas' body with unconscious grace. White-gold hair darkened to the color of rich butter. Dulcet voice singing one of the more banal bathing songs about the joys of being clean and smelling nice.

Aragorn stood for a time, watching. Remembering other times bathing with Legolas and the twins. And other times bathing privately with other male Elves, who were curious to explore the physical differences between Men and Elves. He shifted, wishing his breeches were not quite so tight.

"Quit staring at me and come bathe," Legolas' voice suddenly commanded with an air of amusement, breaking off from his song.

Aragorn's features twisted into a pout, not sure whether he was annoyed at being caught staring or at once again failing to creep up on an Elf.

Legolas laughed at him. "After so many years of your foster brothers always catching you sneaking around, you are *almost* as quiet as an Elf when you try. Unfortunately, I can smell you from there."

Chagrined, Aragorn nodded. "I am sorry that my odor offends you. I have traveled more often among Men for the last decade than among Elves; I had forgotten how sensitive you are to scent," he said, as he began stripping off layers of clothing. The slight breeze chilled him enough to prevent any undue embarrassment as he removed his breeches and waded into the surprisingly temperate pool.

"Is there a hot spring nearby?" he asked.

"No; I believe the water is warmed by something under the mountains," Legolas replied, throwing a small object at Aragorn.

He caught it, but it slipped out of his hand and fell with a splash into the water. He retrieved the item and his jaw fell open.

"Soap?" he asked, incredulous. "You brought *soap*? On a journey to Mordor?"

Legolas shrugged a flawless shoulder. "Yes, a few cakes. I knew I was going to be traveling with smelly mortals," he teased.

While Aragorn washed, Legolas ducked his own head under the waterfall, scrubbing his scalp and pulling his fingers through his hair.

Aragorn laughed, shaking his head. "But you forgot to bring a comb?"

Legolas cupped his hands and sent an arc of water into Aragorn's face. "Insolent whelp. No, my comb is with my pack, as are clean clothes. I thought I would scout out a pool, wash my face and hands, and fill the water skins. Then return to camp to gather things for a bath." He paused, and slight color tinted his cheeks pink. "Unfortunately, I found I did not possess the legendary patience of immortals this time. I could not resist the allure of the water."

"Well, your hair is getting all tangled," Aragorn pointed out, resisting the urge to splash back. "Come here and let me help you; otherwise it will be impossible to work the knots out later."

Legolas came closer with a knowing expression on his face. "Oh? And how did you come by so much expertise in dealing with fine Elven hair?" he asked, grinning.

Aragorn's face colored a bit, and his nether regions stirred as he recalled many occasions of untangling the long, wet locks of his former lovers. He turned Legolas around and nudged him to kneel in the water, and began working his hands delicately through the hair. He sighed at the silky sensation and heard an answering sigh from Legolas.

Curious, Aragorn trailed one hand down the Elf's neck, seeing the skin shiver and prickle in response. Elves do not feel the cold, he reminded himself. With a smug little smile, he "accidentally" stroked his fingers over the sensitive points of Legolas' ears.

He was somewhat surprised when Legolas leaned back onto his chest and tilted his head to the side. "More, Aragorn," Legolas murmured, wiggling further back until the lower part of Aragorn's body was pressed against the Elf.

Aragorn froze. His arousal was firmly pressing into Legolas' back and there was no way Legolas could mistake that. Was his friend's enjoyment of his touch merely sensual or was it of a more sexual nature? What did Legolas want?

Aragorn certainly knew what he wanted, and stifled a groan as Legolas wiggled against his crotch in a demanding sort of way, sighing when Aragorn resumed stroking his ears. No, Aragorn's problems were not whether he wanted the Elf, but whether the Elf wanted him, and then the more enjoyable problem of selecting one of many positions in which they might couple first.

"Aragorn," Legolas said, recalling his attention.

"Hm?"

"Is there a reason you are still fondling my ears and have not moved on to other more sensitive areas?" he asked with a sly smile as he stood and turned around. "Have your former lovers been remiss in instructing you on how to please an Elf?"

"No," Aragorn replied, resisting the urge to stick out his tongue. "I was simply trying to work out what you wanted from me," he answered honestly.

Legolas moved his smooth body closer, bringing their lips the slightest breath apart. "I want your cock buried deep within me as I ride you harder than a stallion of Rohan. And when I've worn you out, I will take pity on your human weakness and let you taste my immortal essence."

Aragorn shivered at the commanding words. He leaned in to bring their lips together, but the Elf moved away. Legolas led him over to the bank of the river and pushed him down into the soft silt, straddling him. Aragorn realized the cake of soap was still in his hand and went to toss it onto the grass, when his arm was pulled back by a strong hand.

"Nay; we will need that to ease the way. Unless you have some oil hidden in a pocket of your clothes?"

"No. But won't it, um, wash away?" Aragorn asked hesitantly. Legolas was so in command that he hated to question him; it was a relief to have someone else take the lead for once.

"Ah, this is Elf soap," Legolas smiled. "Far more moisturizing and versatile than most soaps you are familiar with," he said, lathering up his hands. He trailed them down Aragorn's chest, teasing his nipples and playing curiously with the hair sprinkled there, before smoothing them down his firm belly to his groin.

Aragorn's hands were not idle, caressing the satiny skin of Legolas' arms and shoulders before pulling him tentatively forward to bring their mouths together. Legolas opened to him, sharing the taste of his lips, allowing Aragorn's tongue to tangle with his, before reasserting control and plunging deeply into to the kiss. His tongue devastated Aragorn, leaving him shaken and gasping for air, hard and hot and needy. As his body shifted restlessly under Legolas, Aragorn's hands stroked down the ivory back to cup and squeeze what had to be the firmest rear in all Middle Earth.

Abruptly, Legolas sat up, dragging his swollen organ against Aragorn's chest as he pressed the soap back into the Ranger's hands. "Prepare me," he whispered, falling forward to his hands. With the Elf poised above him on all fours, Aragorn quickly worked the soap to a lather. As his hands caressed the seam of Legolas' body, he angled his head to lap at the erection teasing his lips. His tongue and fingers moved together, circling, before slowly penetrating the tight orifice while his mouth enveloped the hard length.

Legolas groaned with delight and began to rock in a dance of pleasure between Aragorn's slick fingers, probing and stretching, and his wet mouth, sucking and teasing. "Enough!" he finally cried, pulling away and positioning himself further back.

Aragorn's protesting whine at losing the sweet taste of the Elf's flesh mutated into a deep, rumbling groan of pleasure as Legolas quickly slicked a lathered hand over Aragorn's throbbing arousal and immediately sank down on it, drawing it deep into his body.

Tightness like he hadn't felt in years squeezed Aragorn's cock, and the vision of Legolas in ecstasy astride his lap threatened to overwhelm him too fast. Fortunately, Legolas was in no mood to delay either, it seemed, as he set a relentless pace, truly galloping astride Aragorn, keening like a wild thing.

The ride was glorious, shattering all of his control, and Aragorn knew he could not last as his body began to writhe and spasm in an overload of pleasure. "Ah, Legolas! You undo me!" he cried, as he climaxed deep into the wanton creature above him.

Legolas let him ride out the last few thrusts as Aragorn's pleasure ebbed before pulling off and moving up. He rocked his hips forward, sliding his length into Aragorn's willing mouth. "Now, Ranger. Finish me off," he demanded.

Moaning, Aragorn wrapped his hands around Legolas' slim hips and encouraged the strong thighs to move at will, as he hungrily took the cock into his mouth. Relaxing his throat and stroking his tongue along the hot length, Aragorn slipped two long fingers back inside the Elf's tight sheath, and began thrusting in counterpoint. Legolas' body tensed as he drew in a great breath and held it, jerking slightly as he cursed in an ancient Elvish tongue some words about pleasurable death, and Aragorn's throat was flooded with his sweet essence.

Panting and swaying slightly above him, Aragorn steadied the delirious Elf and helped him to roll to the side. They lay together, arms and legs entangled, letting their bodies cool and relax, enjoying the sounds of the river and the pleasure of being alive.

After a time, Legolas chuckled. "Now we need another bath," he smiled, rolling over Aragorn to reach the forgotten soap.

*****


Many hours later, the Fellowship roused themselves from various states of slumber and began to think of refreshment and getting the night's journey underway. As usual, Pippin came to see if Aragorn had been out hunting while the Hobbits slept, but this time halted his usual questions before he had even started.

"You smell sweet," he said, eyes wide with astonishment. "Like the flowers that bloom only in the summer darkness."

Aragorn flushed a bit as Legolas laughed, having overheard the shrill voice from across the encampment. "It's Elf soap," he answered, winking at Legolas. "Perfect for cleaning sweaty Rangers."

~end~


Buy the soap!






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Date: 2005-06-13 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cynical-terror.livejournal.com
what a cute, hot story... and the soap looks beautiful! :)

Date: 2005-06-13 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the story - I had a lot of fun writing it. :)

Date: 2005-06-13 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niennas-dreams.livejournal.com
Oh, lovely! :D Wild Legolas, sweet-smelling Aragorn...this was a treat to start my day with. I love the Elf Soap...I'm so tempted!

Date: 2005-06-13 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Soap - let me know and I might bring a few with me as gifts. ;)

Date: 2005-06-18 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niennas-dreams.livejournal.com
Oh!!! *loves you* That would be wonderful! And I can always give you some money here. I would love that! Ooh, I'm all excited. Elf Soap. Do let me know if that's okay! *hugs*

Date: 2005-06-19 06:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
*hug* Of course it's all right! We'll work things out over YM/when I get there... I'm hoping to have a flight booked soon...

Date: 2005-06-19 07:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niennas-dreams.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you! And that's great news *hugs*

Date: 2005-06-13 02:05 pm (UTC)
dollface_uk: By By infinite_icons (Aragorn and Legolas mm)
From: [personal profile] dollface_uk
That was lovely, so cute and hot :D

Date: 2005-06-13 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
:) Thank you, I'm glad you liked the story!

Date: 2005-06-13 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miladyhawke.livejournal.com
Oo..bathtime fluff! I knew it was a good idea to be on your flist :D You don't know how happy it makes me to see an A/L piece popping up again on my friends page, by someone who writes well. Definitely a hot, hot story - I always love visions of Legolas in Aragorn's lap, taking control. And the humor was handled very well in this too, which is something I always find amazing since humor is so hard to write well.

Dulcet voice singing one of the more banal bathing songs about the joys of being clean and smelling nice.

For instance, I thought this line was particularly delightful.

Date: 2005-06-13 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
*giggle* Thank you so much! It's SO NICE when other people pull out the same lines that made me laugh to write.

I've never written LOTR-FPS before and I am very pleased that you enjoyed it! :)

Date: 2005-06-13 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soar38.livejournal.com
"I want your cock buried deep within me as I ride you harder than a stallion of Rohan. And when I've worn you out, I will take pity on your human weakness and let you taste my immortal essence."

If I'd have been Aragorn I'd have come right then and there.

Do you ship abroad?

Date: 2005-06-13 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
*giggle* Well, he is 70 or 80 something years old. But yeah, me too. *squeak*

shipping abroad - sure why not? I'm not really doing this for much of a business/profit. :)

Date: 2005-06-15 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soar38.livejournal.com
I'd pay extra for the shipping but I'd like to take 2 or 3.

Date: 2005-06-15 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
I'm throwing in the shipping cost "for free", so don't worry about that. I think paypal will let you order multiple bars... Let me know if not and we can figure something out.

I am not such a very mighty businesswoman - this is probably the first and last thing I will ever sell. ;)

Date: 2005-06-20 10:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soar38.livejournal.com
That's very generous, thank you. I've ordered 4 but it will come from my fairytoes hotmail address, so if you see that address has made a payment - it's meeeeeee! :-P

Date: 2005-06-21 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Got it - thank you! I will try to get to the post office this weekend!

Date: 2005-06-21 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soar38.livejournal.com
Ta much! *huggles*

Do witches do anything special for the solstice?

Date: 2005-06-14 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seekie.livejournal.com
Aaawww, this was so cute; funny and hot!! The image of Legolas riding the Ranger will stay with me for a while, no doubt ;) Thanks!!!!

Date: 2005-06-14 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
:) Thank you - glad you liked the humor mixed in with the smut!

Date: 2005-06-14 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloominbabylon.livejournal.com
Bloody effing brilliant...humor tied with lyrical words to lovely man on elf sex...you've made my night!

Love, love, love a Legolas than can hold his own with Aragorn...

Date: 2005-06-14 03:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
*g* Thank you - glad to help enliven your evening.

And I'm glad you liked Legolas On Top - he doesn't get that nearly as often as he should. ;)

Date: 2005-06-15 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloominbabylon.livejournal.com
very hard to find Leggy on top...so I wrote my own...lmao...but its always a treat to find someone else who likes it :-)

Date: 2005-06-14 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-razzle.livejournal.com
You know, for crack this was suprisingly hawt.

Some day soon he was going to have to deal with Boromir's attitude, but today was not that day.

God, Bloody ranger. Never does anything today that he can put off until tomorrow.

Date: 2005-06-14 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
*blush* Thanks! Maybe hot!crack should be a new category. ;)

Slacker. Let's get together and give him a good scrubbing to get him motivated.

Date: 2005-06-14 11:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morrigan-d.livejournal.com
That's the best damn commercial for soap I've EVER read.

Ylang Ylang, huh? aphrodisiacal essential oil....

Date: 2005-06-14 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
*giggle* Thanks! Maybe I should quit library work and get into advertising...

#1 Bedroom Special. ;)

Date: 2005-06-14 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tillie1202.livejournal.com
*giggles* Elf soap! I do like dirty, sweaty Aragorn, but I can imagine helping him get cleaned up a bit would be quite pleasant as well! ;P

Date: 2005-06-14 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
I'm sure he'll get dirty again. And then he'll need another bath. Or shower. Or just a good oiled rub-down...

*drool*

Date: 2005-06-14 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artemisallen.livejournal.com
Oh sweet very sweet - love the soap pic

Date: 2005-06-14 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Thanks! :) Glad you liked the soap and the story!

Date: 2005-06-15 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andolinn.livejournal.com
This was just yummy. I have seriously been missing A/L - everything these days comes with tons of angst. And a powerful Legolas; my favorite!

And the organic soap! A friend and I used to make soap and sell it at craft fairs. And all these organic, hippie, dippy, trippy people would come up to us and ask, in hushed tones, if it was all natural. "I mean you don't use lye, do you."

And it would be all I would do to pull my partner off of them. "No, the little saponification fairies come in the night!"

I think you my just inspire me to go make up a batch...

Date: 2005-06-15 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked the story - thank you! :) I'm not very into angst myself, so I tend to not write it.

I love the saponification fairies - isn't it nice when they just make the soap for you? ;) Hope you enjoy your soap!

Date: 2005-06-15 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anne-higgins.livejournal.com
Loved this!

I'm afraid I'm a slut for Aragorn taking Legolas, so this is exactly how I see Legolas when he gets the urge to be in control. :>

Thanks for the read!

Date: 2005-06-15 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salixbabylon.livejournal.com
Thank you!

I definitely see Legolas a "topping-from-the-bottom" kind of guy. He knows what he wants and he's been around long enough to know how to get it. ;)

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