Fic: All That Glitters (1/1)
Sep. 18th, 2005 12:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
salixbabylonJust in case anyone missed it when ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lostiawen posted it:
Title: All That Glitters
Authors:lostiawen and salixbabylon
Email: changeling@planetx.org and salixbabylon@yahoo.com
Word Count: 7135
Pairing: Orlando/Viggo
Rating: NC-17
Archiving: Our sites, Aniron, CIB, Mirrormere, VOLA, list archives, and others upon request ONLY.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Complete fiction. We are implying nothing about the real sexual preferences of the actors herein. Absolutely no disrespect is meant to them.
Summary: Why is Viggo buying girly bath bombs at Lush in Toronto?
Authors' Notes: This started out as a chatfic betweenlostiawen and salixbabylon. Well, one thing led to another, and we decided to release this as a full-fledged fic.
All That Glitters
It was three days after Orlando had trashed Viggo's trailer in Wellington. Most of the cast had been put up in the same hotel, for some location shoots. All of the Fellowship were housed together, and the hotel staff had been warned to expect some rowdiness. Right now, though, things were quiet -- it was still early, and the Hobbits'n'Orli were out clubbing.
Quiet except for the activity on one of the floors; using a credit card, Viggo broke into Orlando's room to enact his revenge. His bare feet made no noise as he removed all of the bath soap, replacing it with glittery bath bombs and heavily scented glittery shower gel. Once his mission was accomplished, he strolled out, locked the door behind him, and then called the housekeeping staff to inform them that Mr. Bloom did not require any more toiletries.
*****
In the morning, a very hung-over Orli dragged himself out of bed, sleepily showered, and staggered into the trailer set up outside the hotel for makeup, gripping his tea mug like his life depended on it. He grunted out a barely recognizable "mornin'" before he fell into his chair. Still in a daze, he failed to notice Viggo, Bean, and the makeup assistants trying to repress their laughter.
Despite a valiant attempt, a guffaw broke lose from Sean. "Wow, the elves are *very* poncy today," he noted. "You reek of flowers, mate. Or should I say 'luv'?"
Orlando blinked, looking up from his tea. It was far too early for this kind of shit. "What the fuck, Bean?"
Sean rolled his eyes. "Smell yourself, you daft bastard."
Puzzled, Orlando looked over in Viggo's direction. However, Viggo seemed oblivious to everything. He sat in his chair, face immobile as he read the day's script changes.
Orlando lifted up an arm to smell his armpit. An unfamiliar scent wafted up. Baffled, he sniffed it again -- that smell was still there. His forehead wrinkled as he sat back in the chair and thought for a long moment.
"That's not my normal soap," he finally realized. Something caught his attention, and he squinted at his arm. "And I'm all shimmery..." His face was a picture of adorable confusion.
Another snicker slipped out of Bean. "Just like a little fairy," he laughed, "Shall we call you Tinkerbell now?"
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Sean and Viggo had been needling Orlando since day one about elves being poncy, and Orlando was sick to death of it. "Fuck off, Bean!" Orli replied, flipping him off.
That was apparently the trigger for Viggo, and he dropped his script, falling out of his chair and laughing until tears streamed down his face.
"What the bloody hell?" Orlando asked, his indignance growing.
Viggo pulled himself together enough to gasp, "I switched your soap, Elf Boy." He snorted loudly, quite satisfied with himself.
Orli turned pleading eyes to Jose, one of the makeup assistants. "Do I have time to shower fucking AGAIN?" he asked, looking for sympathy.
Jose answered, "Only if you take one right now in the back bathroom. Water temperature is a bit sketchy, though."
Although Jose's voice carried a tone of pity, Viggo, in contrast, was still rolling around on the floor, guffawing like a maniac. Orlando's blood boiled; this was *serious*, damnit!
"You cunting bastard!" he shouted, lunging out of his chair to attack. The two men flailed around as Orlando tried to pin Viggo to the carpet, but Viggo was too crafty of a fighter, and he broke Orli's grip with ease.
Once Viggo gained the upper hand, he pinned Orli beneath him. "Bean!" he shouted.
Clearly just waiting for an opening, Sean joined the fray, launching himself on the elf. "For Gondor!" he yelled as he tickled a now helpless Orlando.
Orlando kicked and struggled against the two men, yelping, "Ow, fuck! Watch those hands, mate!" Ignoring his cries, they tickled Orli until tears rolled down his cheeks. "Help! They're molesting me!"
Finally, Sean began to pull away, muttering, "Fuck. Now I have glitter on my hands *and* I smell like a poof."
Orlando tried to twist out of Viggo's grasp, but the other man had a death grip on him. "Leggo, you kinky motherfucker!" Orlando shouted in vain. Viggo ignored him, continuing to tickle Orli until he couldn't breathe. "Sean, lend me a hand?"
Sean looked at Viggo in exasperation. "Bugger that; the one thing I don't need is to reek of girly perfume. I'm gonna go wash up," he said, closing the door behind him as he left.
Orlando's reserves of energy appeared to be drained. He stopped thrashing around in Viggo's arms, giggling and struggling weakly, trying to pout and catch his breath at the same time. The make-up artists discreetly exited, sensing an impeding blow up between Man and Elf.
"Awww, don't pout, sweetheart," Viggo said, in a soothing tone. Orlando calmed down somewhat and then Viggo ruined it with, "You look so pretty," and a giggle.
Still on the floor, Orlando was gasping with injured pride. "You are so fucking dead, Viggo. Dead, buried, and pissed on the grave, even."
Viggo snorted. He reached up and grabbed a flower from his station, and started to run it over Orli's face, hoping to calm the furious Elf down.
It didn't work. Orlando flushed and batted at the flower. "What did you fucking do to my fucking soap, you fucking git?" he demanded.
Viggo tried his best innocent face. "What? I thought the elves liked flowers. You smell like one now." Another laugh slipped out. "Don't you like Lush products?"
A weak slap and scowl from Orlando were his responses.
"Where in hell did you learn to fight?" Viggo snickered, rolling back on top of Orlando and pinning his arms above his head. "Now, are you going to calm down?"
Orlando stuck out his tongue and pouted at Viggo again.
"Don't stick that thing out unless you want to use it," Viggo admonished, shaking a finger at the scowling elf.
Orlando's tongue came out again and wiggled around. "I double dog dare you, old man," he challenged.
Without further banter, Viggo stuck his ridiculously long tongue out and, closing the distance between them, wrapped it around Orli's. Orlando squeaked a moment, then tugged it into his mouth and sucked, moaning.
Startled, Viggo immediately let go and sat back, blinking in disbelief. "Um..."
Orlando wrenched his wrists free and wrapped them around Viggo in a vine-like fashion, followed by his long legs twining around Viggo's waist.
Panic crossed Viggo's face; this went far beyond simple teasing, and his body was reacting to Orli's nearness. "Err..." he mumbled before he was saved by a knock on the door.
"FUCK!" shouted Orlando as Viggo detached himself and jumped into his chair. Orli lay there for a minute, still panting for air and shimmering with glittery sweat.
Jose poked his head back inside, raising his eyebrows at disheveled Orli. "Um, am I interrupting something?"
Orlando closed his eyes and said in a very calm, even voice, "I'm going to fucking kill you later, Vig."
Viggo needed to hide his discomfort quickly. Knowing that it would annoy Orli, he gazed at the prone figure with a smug grin. "Don't think so. Now, let's get to business."
With a scowl, Orlando got up and flounced into his chair. Jose was almost positive he heard Orli grumble "Bloody fucking tease" as he started to apply dirt to Viggo's face.
*****
Viggo lounged in his chair in front of the temporary makeup station, face clean but still in full-on Ranger ensemble. He was tired as hell and had just remembered that he couldn't go home yet; he still had to go to fight practice soon. Even a shower was out of the question, since Jose had told him that the pilot light on the water heater had gone out while they were filming.
The doorknob turned and a long string of obscenities entered, followed by Orlando. He wandered in and started stripping off elf clothes, grumbling under his breath about glitter and flower smells. In the midst of his tirade, he gave Viggo a poisonous glare. "Never been so bloody eager for a shower, thanks to you, you cunting bastard... All fucking day, being teased about being a real elf... Dead, mate, so bloody dead..." he muttered as he undressed.
As Orlando stripped, Viggo felt that uncomfortable tingle in his groin. Needing to re-direct his desires, he decided to tweak the Elf again. He suggested, "Go ahead and grab the shower first. You can have all the hot water."
Totally shameless, Orlando stripped off the last of his clothes. The light shimmered off his wee arse, and Viggo tried his hardest to not drool.
After parading about a bit, Orlando grabbed a towel and disappeared into bathroom. The sound of water running was all that could be heard for a moment, and it was followed by a loud, piercing shriek. A half-second later a naked, wet elf came streaking out of bathroom, yelling "GOING TO FUCKING *MAIM* YOU, VIGGO!" and started flailing slappy punches at his tormentor, punctuated by creative swearing.
Viggo was laughing too hard to defend himself effectively. He toppled backward, taking the elf with him. Orlando continued the onslaught, naked, on top of Viggo.
Viggo froze. And blinked. "Ummm...." Aragorn's leggings were suddenly a bit too tight.
Still shouting and slapping, Orlando growled, "...and I'm not a fucking ponce you fucking arse, not an elf, not a child, not a nance, and why doesn't anyone fucking ever fucking take me seriously? You're such a bunch of cunting arses and I hate you hate you hate you." He was trying to look mean, but instead shivered and got goose-pimples, running out of steam verbally. He sat there, looking at Viggo for a moment. "You're hard," he said, his voice full of awe.
Swallowing nervously, Viggo said "Uh... There's something in my pocket?" A moment later he tried to shove Orlando away; "I've gotta go to fight practice."
"Something in your pocket. Right." Orlando wiggled. Deliberately.
Viggo bit his lip, trying to stifle a moan and failing miserably.
Orlando grinned. "I think I know what's in your pocket, Vig."
"Orli..." Viggo breathed, "We can't do this..." His face was anguished.
Orlando moved in so their lips were just barely apart. "Sure we can..." And then he kissed Viggo.
The feel of Orlando's body was so tempting, Viggo's struggle faded... He wanted to run his hands over the goose-bumps and warm Orli up... Instead, he slowly caressed him, and then rolled him to the side. "I can't, Orli. We're co-stars..."
Orlando sat there, naked, damp, glittery, and half-hard. He blinked at Viggo in disbelief. "We can't. Because we're co-stars." He blinked again. "That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard." He got up, scowling, and dressed in silence.
"Orli, please don't be mad..." Viggo tried to explain, "but if we get involved and it goes sour..."
Orlando refused to look at him, waving his hand as if to ward off the excuses. "Yeah, yeah. Just in case it all blows up before we're done filming, best not to start anything. God fucking forbid that it might NOT go sour, you bloody git. What then? I'll tell you what – then you've just wasted something that might be great just in case it isn't. Well fuck you. I'm going back to the hotel for a shower. With some soap," he added, storming out. "I thought you were meant to be brave, *Ranger*," he shouted before he slammed the door.
Viggo couldn't stop himself from cringing; Orlando was right.
*****
Later that evening Viggo and Sean sat in the bar of the hotel, drinking and watching the Blades lose, consoling themselves over their respective woes. Viggo lost count after his fifth serving of scotch, but every time he thought of Orlando's angry words, he found himself ordering another drink.
"Fucking elf," he grumbled, downing the amber liquid in his glass in one gulp.
Bean looked away from the telly. "What?"
"He just doesn't get it," Viggo replied cryptically.
"Get what?"
Viggo seemed to suddenly realize he was speaking out loud. "Um... You know. The co-star thing."
Bean gave him a look. "What co-star thing?"
Viggo rolled his eyes. "You know... Where you shouldn't sleep with your co-stars."
"Right, that one..." Bean nodded sagely. "Wait, he hit on you?"
"He hits on everyone, Sean. Give me a break," Viggo answered, not sure if he was slurring or not.
"Right," Bean answered. "Well, someone should teach him a lesson." Viggo nodded, so Sean continued, "If he were smaller, I'd say we spank his wee arse."
Viggo's eyes lit up. "Oh, there's an idea. Let me get the Hobbits." He staggered over to the dart board, interrupting Dom and Billy's drunken argument over the origin of the bull's eye. "Hey, you two... Wanna help me play a joke on the elf?"
Dom nodded. "Sure. What's up?"
Viggo whispered for a minute, and by the end, Dom and Billy were grinning. "Whenever you're ready, gentlemen," he said, giggling insanely. After letting Bean in on the plan, the four men made their way to the stairs by Orlando's room, sniggering and shushing each other.
Viggo tried to jimmy the lock with his credit card, but his clumsy fingers refused to co-operate. The rest of the party guffawed, and he hissed back, "Quiet! I'm trying to pick the lock!"
After some more fumbling, Viggo succeeded in popping the door open. Whipping open the door, Sean lurched in, bellowing "FOR GONDOR!"
Viggo followed swiftly behind, and the two Men grabbed Orlando. They yanked him bodily out of his bed and ran whooping down the stairs, with the Hobbits trailing eagerly after them.
Orlando shrieked at the rude awakening, but his yells died down to a whimper when he was dropped hard onto the stairs. Before he could move, Dom sat on his legs and Billy sat on his stomach.
"OW! What the FUCK?!?" Orlando shouted. He tried to sit up and push the Hobbits aside, but Bean grabbed his arms and held them, too.
Viggo knelt over him, growling, "You need to be taught a lesson." He noticed Orlando's nose crinkling when his breath wafted over, and he was gripped by the urge to discipline the smug little prick underneath him. He shoved Orli's t-shirt up and whapped his belly, generating a hollow noise that echoed in the stairwell. The Hobbits, not content with holding still, started tickling their helpless victim.
Orlando twisted and yelled more obscenities than most of the hotel patrons had ever heard. Viggo ignored them and continued his assault until Orli's colorful speculations on Viggo's ancestry trailed off into pained whimpers and moans. The moans faded into tears, and then Orlando stopped fighting and just lay there, completely giving up.
Viggo wasn't satisfied. "I can't just fuck around, Orli," he said, slapping Orlando's belly again. "You should know that."
Dom sniggered, "But he's an elf slut!"
And then Orlando started to get mad. "What the bloody hell? This is about earlier today, you fucking bastard?" he yelled into Viggo's face. "You want to talk about this *here*? *Now?* With all the rest listening in?"
Viggo blinked at him, trying to focus. "Ooh, right... Kinda forgot..." he mumbled. He briefly thought about calming Orli down, but then his alcohol-soaked brain suddenly found everything amusing, and Viggo wound up giggling instead.
"We're all drunk anyway. Doubt we'll anything remember," Dom said as he tipped sideways, laughing.
The rest of the group took that as their cue to let Orlando go. "What's to discuss?" Billy laughed. "Everyone knows you can't keep it in your trousers."
Dom said in a bad Canterbury accent, "Hello, luv...aren't you a pretty one? Wanna shag in the loo?" His rendition of Orlando's voice caused everyone to howl with laughter.
Everyone except Orlando, that is. Fuming, Orlando shoved Billy off of him, straightening his boxers and t-shirt as he got up.
"Oi!" Billy shouted as he fell over, "You have a pulse! Let's shag!"
"Oh, that's nice, mates. I won't forget this, I can tell you," Orlando growled as he stormed off to his room.
"Ooooh, he's mad..." Bean noted, but then ruined it by snickering.
Viggo looked concerned. As much as he could anyway -- what they had just done was only just starting to sink into his head. Eventually the others went back to their rooms, leaving Viggo sitting in the hall. Thinking.
After an eternity, the full scenario finally registered and Viggo was shocked at how cruel he had been. Needing to rectify things, he crept up to Orlando's door and tapped quietly.
"Fuck off!" Orlando shouted back.
Viggo winced. He deserved that; but he needed to fix this. Taking a deep breath, he asked softly, "Orli, can we talk?"
"You deaf? Fuck OFF!"
"Orli... I'm sorry for what happened out there," Viggo said. "Please open the door?"
Viggo heard many grumbles through the door, along with the occasional thump. After a few minutes, he heard the click of the deadbolt being opened, but the door stayed closed. A few more thumps sounded, followed by the creak of the bed.
There were no other sounds, and after a while, Viggo guessed that the initiative was being left up to him. Heart thumping, he opened the door, and then closed it swiftly behind him. A glowering Orlando was sitting on the bed, his eyes glittering with fury.
Viggo lowered his eyes and said, "I'm sorry that got out of hand... I was... *am* really drunk..." He rubbed his hands together awkwardly. "Um... How can I get you to forgive me?"
Orlando gave him an icy glare. "I don't know, mate. Not my job to figure it out, either. Just say your piece and get out. I know what you all think of me now. Fucking arseholes."
Unsure if he would be rebuffed, Viggo took a few tentative steps towards the bed. When nothing happened, he continued walking, stopping when he stood close to Orlando.
Fingers trembling, he reached out to touch the slender shoulder. "Orli... I don't think you're loose... It's just... I'm too old for casual sex."
Orlando batted his hand away, spitting out a curse.
"Orli, please..." Viggo said, feeling his heart clench.
"Fuck you, Viggo!" Orlando shouted. "What the fuck makes you think I just want a quick shag and nothing else? Or is that all you want from me?"
Viggo stepped back, beginning to get angry himself. "Because that's all you've ever wanted out of anyone else," he said, "I want a partner, Orli! Not a fuck buddy! You're young, you're beautiful... Of course you sleep around."
Orlando's face scrunched up as he yelled, "Well maybe I'm tired of it, too! I'm sick of just pulling someone at the pub and shagging them without ever even knowing their name. Fuck! I just... I just thought you... I thought since were friends, that maybe... Well. Guess I shouldn't have bothered thinking at all, yeah?" he finished bitterly.
"Y-you want more," Viggo said, deflating. "Fuck..." He fell to his knees. "I misjudged you." He crawled to the bed and put his head in Orlando's lap. "I'm so sorry, Orli..." he sniffled.
Orlando pushed Viggo off his lap. "Get off me, you lying prick! Fuck, don't you ever give up? I get it - you think I'm a slut and you're not interested. Now go away!" He got up and walked toward the door muttering, "Fucking drunk actors..."
Viggo lunged at Orlando, grabbing him and shaking him by the shoulders. "Listen to me! I care for you, goddamnit!"
Orlando growled. "Four words, Vig – 'glitter soap' and 'belly-slapping.' Talk is cheap, mate. Prove it."
After a long moment of silence, Viggo scooped Orli up into his arms and staggered into the bathroom.
Clinging on for dear life, Orlando squeaked, "What the fuck?"
Holding him close, Viggo freed one hand and turned on the taps in the bath. He added some non-girly smelling bath salts, pulled off Orlando's clothes, and pushed him into the tub. Silently, he began to massage Orlando's shoulders and back.
Feeling the muscles start to relax, Viggo whispered, "Better?"
Orlando blinked at him. "I'm naked and wet. It's what, 2 am?" He sighed, then admitted, "Better. Feels nice. But I'm still confused."
"Hush. Let me spoil you," Viggo murmured, getting out the shower gel. He massaged it into Orli's back until he heard a slight purr. "Let me get that tension out..." He made an effort to go for the knots of muscle, and decided that it made sense in his still-woozy mind that he could reach better if he got in the tub also. Quickly, he stripped and slid into the hot water behind Orlando.
The splash woke Orli up from a relaxed doze. "Uh. Vig? You're still drunk, aren't you?" he asked with resignation.
Viggo giggled. He felt incredibly warm, and the room was spinning, but he could still string two words together; which, in his mind, didn't qualify as drunk. "Just tipsy. Don't worry about it..." he mumbled, leaning heavily on Orli's back. Everything was very warm, and he felt like he was floating. "Mmmm... God, you feel good," he whispered, nuzzling Orli's shoulder.
Orlando moaned and decided to just go with it.
Viggo's hands came up to play with Orli's nipples. "I've always loved how large they are... They look so sensitive..." He purred before he squeezed one.
"Holy fuck!" Orlando gasped, eyes flying open, wide and alert. He wiggled around. "You. Out of the tub. Now," he ordered, pointing, then struggled to get out of the tub himself. "Move it, Ranger. Bed!"
Viggo grinned, stumbling into the bed, still wet. "Mmmm..." he sighed, running a hand through his chest hair as he tried to focus on Orlando's face. "You look good just out of the bath," he purred lecherously.
Orlando rolled his eyes. "I always look good, filthy human," he said, crawling into bed next to Viggo. He waited a moment to see if the other man would make a move. "You're going to fall asleep on me, aren't you?" he teased.
Viggo shook his head somewhat dizzily as he reached out to stroke Orli's ears. "Mmmm... Love your elf ears..." he murmured, sliding closer. “Love those luscious lips of yours..." He licked Orlando's lips, then pressed in for a very sloppy kiss.
Orlando tried not to, but melted anyway. Moaning, he kissed back, touching Viggo everywhere. Viggo whimpered, and began running light fingertips all over Orlando's smooth skin. Their next kiss was more urgent; Viggo's tongue plundering Orli's mouth as he rolled on his back, pulling Orlando on top of him.
Taking a slow, deep breath, Viggo felt the warmness surround him in a cocoon. Before Orlando could react, Viggo's hands slid off, and he passed out, mumbling, "Love you, Orli."
Orlando blinked for a moment, hoping this was another of Viggo's mad jokes. When a soft snore greeted him, he sighed and resigned himself to the fact that nothing was going to be explained until the morning. Orlando pushed Viggo to the side, and pulled up the blankets. Viggo snuggled up to Orlando, wrapping his arms around him protectively. Orlando's heart softened, and he burrowed further in, kissing the arm around his chest. "I think I love you, too," he whispered.
Viggo snored in his ear in response.
*****
Morning light streamed in through open curtains, illuminating the two bodies in the bed. Orlando rolled over and ran into something hard. He mumbled something but it was totally unintelligible.
Viggo groaned as something warm and firm pressed into his morning erection. The pain from the sound made him wonder what herd of oliphaunts had trampled through his head the night before, and why his mouth tasted like he drank out of the Midgewater Marshes. He cracked an eye open.
Still mostly asleep, Orlando wiggled against the pleasantly hard cock poking into his bum.
Viggo moaned again and realized he was naked. A moment later, he realized Orli was also naked. "FUCK!"
"AAAhhh!" Orlando yelped, jumping out of the bed, getting tangled in the sheet, and falling to the floor with a loud crash.
Viggo's head throbbed in agony, whispering "ow" for each pulse of blood.
The heap on the floor was silent. Then, quietly, "Vig?"
"Please don't breathe so loudly," Viggo whispered, slowly reaching his hands up to cradle his head.
Orlando slowly got up and peeked over the end of the bed. Viggo groaned. Orlando's nose wrinkled. "Ack. Ranger breath."
"Orli, please... Not so loud," Viggo begged, wincing. A moment longer of silence and very sluggish thinking prompted him to ask, "Um, did we, uh...?" and lower his hands to give Orlando a worried look.
Orlando sighed. "Hold on," he said, getting up and going to bathroom . He poked his head back around corner. "And no, you great arse, we didn't do anything." He came back with water and aspirin.
Viggo squinted over the side of the bed, needing to confirm for himself that nothing happened. He had woken up in the past next to strange men after a night of binge drinking, and in his past, he had been known to turn into a gigantic slut once his alcohol tolerance was exceeded. He looked for condoms and lube; and he tried to ignore the throbbing in his head while he tried to figure out whether or not his ass was sore. Once he confirmed the absence of prophylactics and that no action had stretched his hole, he relaxed; although the slight gleam on his hands puzzled him.
"Whew. Thanks, Elf Boy," he said meekly as he took the aspirin. After he swallowed it and drank the water, he sighed in relief as the pounding dulled to an ache.
Orlando snorted. "So, what do you remember?" he asked after several long minutes.
"Uh..." Viggo scratched his head. "I remember having some drinks with Bean. A lot of drinks..." His forehead wrinkled. "Shit, it's a blur after that... Did I really drink that much? I haven't blacked out since my early 20s... Had a dream where I was giving you a bath and um..." he trailed off, his face turning red.
Orlando snorted again. "So you conveniently forgot the part where you gathered the whole Fellowship together, broke into my room, carried me downstairs, and slapped my belly until it was red, while the Hobbits said rude things and everyone agreed I was a slag? And then you crawled back here to apologize? And somehow your apology consisted of a bath?"
Viggo looked at Orlando, aghast. "I... What? Oh god..." He buried his face in his hands and curled up into a ball.
Resisting the urge to smile, but with a cheery tone to his voice, Orlando continued. "Care to share what might have been going on in that bloody thing you call a brain, mate? Any of it. The glittery soap thing. The belly slapping. The apology where you accused me of being a slut. Followed by the bath. I mean, I know you're random and artisty and shite, but what the fuck?"
With a sigh, Viggo pulled himself together enough to answer. "The glitter soap was just my retaliation for you leaving that fake dog shit in my trailer. And because your personality is luminous... I just wanted to bring that out to the surface..."
Orlando nodded. "Right. And then I got harassed all bloody day for being glittery. Fair enough. Then you set me up for a cold shower - fine. I'm still planning to get you back later, mind, but fine. And then you kissed me..."
"You're irresistible, Orli," Viggo sighed. "And you were wiggling on my lap. I'd have to be dead to ignore you."
A grin split Orlando's face for a moment, but then faded. "But then you decided that we shouldn't, because god fucking forbid things not work out and we don't end up having a commitment ceremony and adopting babies in five years. What the fuck?"
"Orli..." Viggo said in a quiet tone, "I don't know about the commitment ceremony... But I don't want a one night stand... Or even a several months' stand. We're going to drift apart after filming ends."
Exasperated, Orlando asked, "So it's not even worth trying for, then?"
Viggo looked down at his hands. "How much are you in for? I'm too old for temporary relationships."
Orlando reached out to take his hand. "I can't guarantee anything. I don't know. I just know that I haven't felt this way about anyone before, and I'm tired of just fucking around. I don't know what will happen after we wrap, but I don't think of you as a temporary part of my life, either."
Viggo gave him a longing look. "I don't want you to be temporary."
"Well then quit with the girly shite and fucking kiss me already," Orlando grinned, "We'll work the details out later."
Viggo nodded, smiling, and then lurched forward, grabbing Orlando by the shoulder and sucking his soul out through his lips. His tongue explored Orlando's mouth and he was rewarded by arms and legs circling him like an octopus as they both moaned.
Finally, Viggo pulled back, feeling breathless from the kiss. Their bodies pressed together, closer, and he whispered, "How far do you want to go?"
Orlando grinned at him, sliding his hands down Viggo's chest to grab his substantial cock. "How about as far as it takes to get this up my arse?" he asked with an innocent blink.
Eyes rolling back into his head at Orlando's touch, Viggo gasped, "Lube?"
Orli bounced off Viggo's lap after giving his erection another quick squeeze and went to fish lube and condoms from the bathroom. He started to head back, but then stopped at the side of the bed, and handed them to Viggo instead. Slowly, letting Viggo's eyes devour him, Orlando crawled on top, stalking him like a lion.
Viggo's mouth went completely dry. Growling, he pulled Orlando down onto his lap, pressing against his sweet ass. "Tell me how badly you want it," Viggo said.
Orlando ground down on his cock, loving the way they fit together. "Badly. For months," he groaned. "Since I met you, practically. But, hey, wait – you're the one that's supposed to be apologizing," he remembered.
"Damn, I'm busted," Viggo murmured. Kissing Orli's forehead he said, "I'm sorry for running away from you..." He kissed his chest. "I'm sorry for not telling you how I feel..." His tongue swept over a nipple. "I'm sorry for my strange behavior..." Viggo sucked on the nipple, keeping Orlando distracted while he reached for the lube and a condom.
"Oh god, yeah," Orli sighed, arching into Viggo's mouth as his head dropped backwards. "Apology accepted," he added as he moved to slam their mouths back together, moaning when Viggo's slick fingers opened him up. "Come on, Viggo, fuck me."
Viggo didn't need to be told twice. He rolled on the condom quickly before he grabbed Orlando's hips and slammed upward, groaning as he sank inside. "So... tight..." he moaned.
Orlando's hands clenched in the sheets next to Viggo's shoulders, as it took some effort to relax enough to accept him inside. The unexpected thickness of Viggo's cock unsettled him; he felt full, like he'd found the thing that fit inside him better than anything or anyone else ever did or would. He was always such a fucking sap at the first moment of penetration, but it felt like so much more with Viggo than he ever before. Finally, after a long moment, he took a deep breath and relaxed, and pressed back into Viggo. He knew the expression on his face probably gave away everything he was feeling, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.
"Orli," Viggo whispered, breath taken away by the love shining in the depth of Orlando's eyes. "My beautiful Orli..." he murmured, petting his hair. He pressed a tender kiss to Orli's mouth and began rocking inside of him.
There just weren't any words big enough for how Orlando felt, like he was breaking apart as Viggo touched places deep inside him, filling him with more than just his cock, with... love. How could he have never known what he was missing? He rocked in rhythm with Viggo, feeling the gradual build, and not wanting it to end.
Viggo's thoughts ran along similar lines, feeling that he was losing himself in Orlando, that he didn't want to ever let him go. He changed the angle of his hips slightly, stretching up to nibble Orli's neck. "My Orli," he whispered again.
Orlando couldn't stop the continual moans welling up from somewhere deep inside him, and wrapped his arms around Viggo as much as he could. He pressed into the mouth on his neck, hoping Viggo would take the hint that Orli wanted him to mark him, and whimpered, "Please."
Taking Orli's cue, Viggo sucked hard, leaving a bruise that makeup would probably kill him for. "Mine," he purred, as he soothed it with his tongue.
Shivers ran through Orlando and he ground his hard cock against Viggo's belly in the same pulses that Viggo sucked on his skin. Viggo's words, him claiming Orlando made him almost blind with need, but he managed to pull himself together enough to know that he didn't want to rush this. "Yours," he managed to answer after an embarrassingly long silence punctuated only by his groans.
Viggo kept rocking within him, even though his body was screaming at him to pound away. Eventually, he rolled Orlando onto his back, covering his body. He sped up his strokes, caressing Orlando's face at the same time. "Baby," he purred.
Viggo thrust deeper inside Orli, and the sensations building within left Orlando shaking with tremors. He held onto Viggo's shoulders, clenching in his desperation, struggling to find words to tell him that he was close, so close. "Please, Viggo, luv, please," he begged.
Viggo groaned - God, that begging almost did him in. But he still wasn't ready to let it end. Burying himself deep inside Orlando, he stopped, leaning down to suck on Orlando's nipples. He flexed his groin, making his cock jump inside Orli.
"Fuck!" Orlando yelled, pulling Viggo closer. Viggo was stabbing him in the best place possible, and that combined with his mouth on Orlando's nipples, and the overwhelming feeling of *love* coming from him... Orlando just couldn't take it anymore. "Oh Viggo, gunna come," he gasped, pulling fitfully at Viggo's body to make him move again.
Smiling, Viggo pulled Orli's legs onto his shoulder and thrust as hard as he could. "Show me, baby," he murmured, sucking on the small mark he had made earlier. "Let me see you come." He gave Orlando's hips a squeeze as he thrust deep inside over and over again.
Stupid things started to come out of Orlando's mouth, like "Holy fucking Christ, Viggo, yes yes yes," interspersed with a high pitched whining that he bet Bean could hear through the thin hotel walls, but there was no way Orlando could hold it in. Not with Viggo pounding into him like that, so perfect, exactly right. Finally, his body reached overload and he was shouting and convulsing, pulling Viggo closer, deeper, and saying idiotic things about loving him as he climaxed with every cell in his body.
Viggo was breathless, watching Orlando's face, practically glowing as he rocked through his orgasm, and he couldn't hold back any longer. Calling out Orlando's name, he thrust forward once more, shaking as he spilled into the condom. He was flying high, lights dancing in front of his eyes as he came...
Viggo felt like the top of his head was blowing off and then he crashed back down to Earth. Collapsing in a sweaty heap on top of Orli, he nuzzled the side of his neck. "Wow," was all he could say.
Orlando chuckled weakly. "Yeah. Definitely wow."
After a few minutes of basking in satisfaction, Orlando slowly noticed that they were both awfully sticky. And that the sun was streaming in through the window. Groaning, he glanced at the clock. "Fuck, Vig. We need to get moving. Have to be on set in just over an hour." And then to top off the romance, his stomach gurgled.
Viggo snickered at the noise. Impulsively, he reached down and rubbed it. "Awww... Is someone hungry?" he teased. He pulled out and disposed of the condom, using tissues to clean them both off. "An hour? Well, if we get dressed now, we can go to breakfast."
Orli wrinkled his nose. "You need a shower, stinky Ranger. And so do I, since I have Man sweat all over me now."
"No one showered in Middle Earth," Viggo argued, "It'd add an air of authenticity."
Orli shoved Viggo to get him moving and out of bed. "Elves showered. And if you want to shag this elf again..." he said with a meaningful look.
"All right, lead on," Viggo sighed, "although Craig's starting to look pretty cute right now... He wouldn't require that I shower..."
Orlando stuck out his tongue and pulled Viggo into the bathroom. Soon the water was heated up and they were squeezing together in the bath tub. "Mmmm... This is nice," he sighed, trailing his fingers in the water running down his body. "And you never answered me... What was up with the bath last night?"
Viggo scratched his head. "I think I felt that since I started this whole thing with me stealing your soap, it made sense to come full cycle and treat you to a nice bathing experience. Either that or I wanted to cleanse out my previous actions..."
"Or you were just drunk off your arse," Orli added.
"Um, yeah... Could have been that, too." Time was running short, so Viggo looked around for something to wash himself with. "Fuck, I forgot - no soap," he groaned, realizing that the entire cast and crew would be teasing him mercilessly all day for being a glittery Ranger.
Orlando didn't even try to stop the laughter that turned into girly giggles as he pictured Viggo being sparkly all day.
"Fine," Viggo grumbled. "Do we have *anything* I can clean myself with?" He had a suspicious feeling that he knew the answer.
Wiggling his tongue at Viggo, Orlando grabbed the undissolved part of yesterday's "soap", which had turned out to be a bath bomb. With a wink, he said, "Just this, Viggo."
Viggo groaned again. "There isn't anything else we can use? Because otherwise, we'll be sweaty, gleaming, *and* oily. But not clean."
Orlando laughed and threw the bottle of overwhelmingly flower-scented, shimmery bath gel at him. "Enjoy," he said with a grin that spoke of the beginning of revenge.
Later that morning, Bean's hung over-confused questions about them both being "glittery and poncy smelling" made them both laugh for an unseemly long time, and left none of the witnesses in any doubt as to the reasons why.
*****
Toronto Film Festival, 2004
Once he was done filming for the day, Viggo ducked into the Toronto Lush shop, grinning as he quickly spotted a number of bath products containing glitter.
The salesgirl's eyes popped out as she recognized Aragorn in her very own shop, and blushed. "Um, hi, um, Mr. Mortensen, sir?" she squeaked, "May I help you find something?"
Viggo tried not grin, turning on the charm. "Hello, I'd like to buy some bath bombs," he said.
The salesgirl gestured. "Right over here, sir. Any particular scent you're interested in?" she asked breathlessly, trying not to picture him naked.
Viggo grinned. "Something very... flowery. What does this 'Fairy Jasmine' one smell like?"
The salesgirl blinked and deflated, obviously assuming it was a gift for a girlfriend. "That one's a nice delicate floral, jasmine and ylang ylang. It has glitter dust in it, which leaves your skin all shimmery - perfect for clubbing. Er. Not *your* skin of course..." she babbled, realizing what she'd said and turning beet red.
"Perfect for clubbing, huh?" Viggo smiled, his voice getting husky at thought of a shirtless, low-rider clad Orlando twisting sinuously on the dance floor, each muscle on his perfect chest gleaming as he moved.
In the midst of his reverie, something else caught his eye. "How about this 'Sex Bomb' one?" he asked, fingering the pink and purple globe.
The salesgirl turned even more red. "That one has, uh, a more herbal scent to it. Um, if you like, I can unwrap some samples for you to smell?"
"That would be wonderful," Viggo purred, already having fantasies. It had been months since he was last with Orlando.
The salesgirl came back. "Here's the Fairy one, sir, um, Mr. Mortensen, and um, this is the, uh," her voice dropped to a whisper, "the Sex Bomb one."
Viggo smelled them and decided they were perfect. "Great. I'll take both of them. Can you gift wrap them?"
"Yes, sir, of course," she said, scurrying away. "Um, we have yellow or blue ribbons; which would you prefer?"
"Yellow. Definitely yellow."
She finished up the wrapping and Viggo paid and left, after signing a few autographs as well as the credit card slip. He caught a taxi and headed to the hotel where Orlando was supposed to be waiting, going through the usual cloak-and-dagger routine to get inside.
"Viggo!" shouted a long-missed voice, and Viggo was attacked and knocked backward two steps until they slammed bodily into the wall, mouths locked together too vigorously to be called something as dainty as "kissing."
Orlando pulled back for a moment, breathless. "Hi," he said, before snogging Viggo again.
Viggo's head spun, and he gently detached Orlando from him. "Um... Hi." Orlando whined and gave him the mother of all pouts, so Viggo held up the gift-wrapped bundle in his hands. "Happy anniversary, baby."
Orli grinned and bounced. "A present? For me?" He attacked Viggo again, smiling into his mouth. "Hmm, and all I brought for you was my package," he said with an incredibly goofy grin and waggle of eyebrows, grinding his erection into Viggo's hip.
Viggo laughed. "That's it? Maybe I should take this back, then..." he teased.
"Nonono!" Orli pouted, grabbing for his present. "What is it, what is it?" he exclaimed, tearing off the wrappings. "Ooh, it's from Lush!" Orlando clutched his heart in high melodrama. "Oh Viggo, you *remembered*!" he said, pretending to swoon and then breaking up into hysterical laughter.
"In celebration of what first got us together..." Viggo said, eyes sparkling. "And besides, you look damn sexy in glitter."
Orlando grinned back. "So do you, sexy Ranger."
~end~
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lostiawen posted it:Title: All That Glitters
Authors:
lostiawen and salixbabylonEmail: changeling@planetx.org and salixbabylon@yahoo.com
Word Count: 7135
Pairing: Orlando/Viggo
Rating: NC-17
Archiving: Our sites, Aniron, CIB, Mirrormere, VOLA, list archives, and others upon request ONLY.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Complete fiction. We are implying nothing about the real sexual preferences of the actors herein. Absolutely no disrespect is meant to them.
Summary: Why is Viggo buying girly bath bombs at Lush in Toronto?
Authors' Notes: This started out as a chatfic between
lostiawen and salixbabylon. Well, one thing led to another, and we decided to release this as a full-fledged fic. It was three days after Orlando had trashed Viggo's trailer in Wellington. Most of the cast had been put up in the same hotel, for some location shoots. All of the Fellowship were housed together, and the hotel staff had been warned to expect some rowdiness. Right now, though, things were quiet -- it was still early, and the Hobbits'n'Orli were out clubbing.
Quiet except for the activity on one of the floors; using a credit card, Viggo broke into Orlando's room to enact his revenge. His bare feet made no noise as he removed all of the bath soap, replacing it with glittery bath bombs and heavily scented glittery shower gel. Once his mission was accomplished, he strolled out, locked the door behind him, and then called the housekeeping staff to inform them that Mr. Bloom did not require any more toiletries.
In the morning, a very hung-over Orli dragged himself out of bed, sleepily showered, and staggered into the trailer set up outside the hotel for makeup, gripping his tea mug like his life depended on it. He grunted out a barely recognizable "mornin'" before he fell into his chair. Still in a daze, he failed to notice Viggo, Bean, and the makeup assistants trying to repress their laughter.
Despite a valiant attempt, a guffaw broke lose from Sean. "Wow, the elves are *very* poncy today," he noted. "You reek of flowers, mate. Or should I say 'luv'?"
Orlando blinked, looking up from his tea. It was far too early for this kind of shit. "What the fuck, Bean?"
Sean rolled his eyes. "Smell yourself, you daft bastard."
Puzzled, Orlando looked over in Viggo's direction. However, Viggo seemed oblivious to everything. He sat in his chair, face immobile as he read the day's script changes.
Orlando lifted up an arm to smell his armpit. An unfamiliar scent wafted up. Baffled, he sniffed it again -- that smell was still there. His forehead wrinkled as he sat back in the chair and thought for a long moment.
"That's not my normal soap," he finally realized. Something caught his attention, and he squinted at his arm. "And I'm all shimmery..." His face was a picture of adorable confusion.
Another snicker slipped out of Bean. "Just like a little fairy," he laughed, "Shall we call you Tinkerbell now?"
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Sean and Viggo had been needling Orlando since day one about elves being poncy, and Orlando was sick to death of it. "Fuck off, Bean!" Orli replied, flipping him off.
That was apparently the trigger for Viggo, and he dropped his script, falling out of his chair and laughing until tears streamed down his face.
"What the bloody hell?" Orlando asked, his indignance growing.
Viggo pulled himself together enough to gasp, "I switched your soap, Elf Boy." He snorted loudly, quite satisfied with himself.
Orli turned pleading eyes to Jose, one of the makeup assistants. "Do I have time to shower fucking AGAIN?" he asked, looking for sympathy.
Jose answered, "Only if you take one right now in the back bathroom. Water temperature is a bit sketchy, though."
Although Jose's voice carried a tone of pity, Viggo, in contrast, was still rolling around on the floor, guffawing like a maniac. Orlando's blood boiled; this was *serious*, damnit!
"You cunting bastard!" he shouted, lunging out of his chair to attack. The two men flailed around as Orlando tried to pin Viggo to the carpet, but Viggo was too crafty of a fighter, and he broke Orli's grip with ease.
Once Viggo gained the upper hand, he pinned Orli beneath him. "Bean!" he shouted.
Clearly just waiting for an opening, Sean joined the fray, launching himself on the elf. "For Gondor!" he yelled as he tickled a now helpless Orlando.
Orlando kicked and struggled against the two men, yelping, "Ow, fuck! Watch those hands, mate!" Ignoring his cries, they tickled Orli until tears rolled down his cheeks. "Help! They're molesting me!"
Finally, Sean began to pull away, muttering, "Fuck. Now I have glitter on my hands *and* I smell like a poof."
Orlando tried to twist out of Viggo's grasp, but the other man had a death grip on him. "Leggo, you kinky motherfucker!" Orlando shouted in vain. Viggo ignored him, continuing to tickle Orli until he couldn't breathe. "Sean, lend me a hand?"
Sean looked at Viggo in exasperation. "Bugger that; the one thing I don't need is to reek of girly perfume. I'm gonna go wash up," he said, closing the door behind him as he left.
Orlando's reserves of energy appeared to be drained. He stopped thrashing around in Viggo's arms, giggling and struggling weakly, trying to pout and catch his breath at the same time. The make-up artists discreetly exited, sensing an impeding blow up between Man and Elf.
"Awww, don't pout, sweetheart," Viggo said, in a soothing tone. Orlando calmed down somewhat and then Viggo ruined it with, "You look so pretty," and a giggle.
Still on the floor, Orlando was gasping with injured pride. "You are so fucking dead, Viggo. Dead, buried, and pissed on the grave, even."
Viggo snorted. He reached up and grabbed a flower from his station, and started to run it over Orli's face, hoping to calm the furious Elf down.
It didn't work. Orlando flushed and batted at the flower. "What did you fucking do to my fucking soap, you fucking git?" he demanded.
Viggo tried his best innocent face. "What? I thought the elves liked flowers. You smell like one now." Another laugh slipped out. "Don't you like Lush products?"
A weak slap and scowl from Orlando were his responses.
"Where in hell did you learn to fight?" Viggo snickered, rolling back on top of Orlando and pinning his arms above his head. "Now, are you going to calm down?"
Orlando stuck out his tongue and pouted at Viggo again.
"Don't stick that thing out unless you want to use it," Viggo admonished, shaking a finger at the scowling elf.
Orlando's tongue came out again and wiggled around. "I double dog dare you, old man," he challenged.
Without further banter, Viggo stuck his ridiculously long tongue out and, closing the distance between them, wrapped it around Orli's. Orlando squeaked a moment, then tugged it into his mouth and sucked, moaning.
Startled, Viggo immediately let go and sat back, blinking in disbelief. "Um..."
Orlando wrenched his wrists free and wrapped them around Viggo in a vine-like fashion, followed by his long legs twining around Viggo's waist.
Panic crossed Viggo's face; this went far beyond simple teasing, and his body was reacting to Orli's nearness. "Err..." he mumbled before he was saved by a knock on the door.
"FUCK!" shouted Orlando as Viggo detached himself and jumped into his chair. Orli lay there for a minute, still panting for air and shimmering with glittery sweat.
Jose poked his head back inside, raising his eyebrows at disheveled Orli. "Um, am I interrupting something?"
Orlando closed his eyes and said in a very calm, even voice, "I'm going to fucking kill you later, Vig."
Viggo needed to hide his discomfort quickly. Knowing that it would annoy Orli, he gazed at the prone figure with a smug grin. "Don't think so. Now, let's get to business."
With a scowl, Orlando got up and flounced into his chair. Jose was almost positive he heard Orli grumble "Bloody fucking tease" as he started to apply dirt to Viggo's face.
Viggo lounged in his chair in front of the temporary makeup station, face clean but still in full-on Ranger ensemble. He was tired as hell and had just remembered that he couldn't go home yet; he still had to go to fight practice soon. Even a shower was out of the question, since Jose had told him that the pilot light on the water heater had gone out while they were filming.
The doorknob turned and a long string of obscenities entered, followed by Orlando. He wandered in and started stripping off elf clothes, grumbling under his breath about glitter and flower smells. In the midst of his tirade, he gave Viggo a poisonous glare. "Never been so bloody eager for a shower, thanks to you, you cunting bastard... All fucking day, being teased about being a real elf... Dead, mate, so bloody dead..." he muttered as he undressed.
As Orlando stripped, Viggo felt that uncomfortable tingle in his groin. Needing to re-direct his desires, he decided to tweak the Elf again. He suggested, "Go ahead and grab the shower first. You can have all the hot water."
Totally shameless, Orlando stripped off the last of his clothes. The light shimmered off his wee arse, and Viggo tried his hardest to not drool.
After parading about a bit, Orlando grabbed a towel and disappeared into bathroom. The sound of water running was all that could be heard for a moment, and it was followed by a loud, piercing shriek. A half-second later a naked, wet elf came streaking out of bathroom, yelling "GOING TO FUCKING *MAIM* YOU, VIGGO!" and started flailing slappy punches at his tormentor, punctuated by creative swearing.
Viggo was laughing too hard to defend himself effectively. He toppled backward, taking the elf with him. Orlando continued the onslaught, naked, on top of Viggo.
Viggo froze. And blinked. "Ummm...." Aragorn's leggings were suddenly a bit too tight.
Still shouting and slapping, Orlando growled, "...and I'm not a fucking ponce you fucking arse, not an elf, not a child, not a nance, and why doesn't anyone fucking ever fucking take me seriously? You're such a bunch of cunting arses and I hate you hate you hate you." He was trying to look mean, but instead shivered and got goose-pimples, running out of steam verbally. He sat there, looking at Viggo for a moment. "You're hard," he said, his voice full of awe.
Swallowing nervously, Viggo said "Uh... There's something in my pocket?" A moment later he tried to shove Orlando away; "I've gotta go to fight practice."
"Something in your pocket. Right." Orlando wiggled. Deliberately.
Viggo bit his lip, trying to stifle a moan and failing miserably.
Orlando grinned. "I think I know what's in your pocket, Vig."
"Orli..." Viggo breathed, "We can't do this..." His face was anguished.
Orlando moved in so their lips were just barely apart. "Sure we can..." And then he kissed Viggo.
The feel of Orlando's body was so tempting, Viggo's struggle faded... He wanted to run his hands over the goose-bumps and warm Orli up... Instead, he slowly caressed him, and then rolled him to the side. "I can't, Orli. We're co-stars..."
Orlando sat there, naked, damp, glittery, and half-hard. He blinked at Viggo in disbelief. "We can't. Because we're co-stars." He blinked again. "That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard." He got up, scowling, and dressed in silence.
"Orli, please don't be mad..." Viggo tried to explain, "but if we get involved and it goes sour..."
Orlando refused to look at him, waving his hand as if to ward off the excuses. "Yeah, yeah. Just in case it all blows up before we're done filming, best not to start anything. God fucking forbid that it might NOT go sour, you bloody git. What then? I'll tell you what – then you've just wasted something that might be great just in case it isn't. Well fuck you. I'm going back to the hotel for a shower. With some soap," he added, storming out. "I thought you were meant to be brave, *Ranger*," he shouted before he slammed the door.
Viggo couldn't stop himself from cringing; Orlando was right.
Later that evening Viggo and Sean sat in the bar of the hotel, drinking and watching the Blades lose, consoling themselves over their respective woes. Viggo lost count after his fifth serving of scotch, but every time he thought of Orlando's angry words, he found himself ordering another drink.
"Fucking elf," he grumbled, downing the amber liquid in his glass in one gulp.
Bean looked away from the telly. "What?"
"He just doesn't get it," Viggo replied cryptically.
"Get what?"
Viggo seemed to suddenly realize he was speaking out loud. "Um... You know. The co-star thing."
Bean gave him a look. "What co-star thing?"
Viggo rolled his eyes. "You know... Where you shouldn't sleep with your co-stars."
"Right, that one..." Bean nodded sagely. "Wait, he hit on you?"
"He hits on everyone, Sean. Give me a break," Viggo answered, not sure if he was slurring or not.
"Right," Bean answered. "Well, someone should teach him a lesson." Viggo nodded, so Sean continued, "If he were smaller, I'd say we spank his wee arse."
Viggo's eyes lit up. "Oh, there's an idea. Let me get the Hobbits." He staggered over to the dart board, interrupting Dom and Billy's drunken argument over the origin of the bull's eye. "Hey, you two... Wanna help me play a joke on the elf?"
Dom nodded. "Sure. What's up?"
Viggo whispered for a minute, and by the end, Dom and Billy were grinning. "Whenever you're ready, gentlemen," he said, giggling insanely. After letting Bean in on the plan, the four men made their way to the stairs by Orlando's room, sniggering and shushing each other.
Viggo tried to jimmy the lock with his credit card, but his clumsy fingers refused to co-operate. The rest of the party guffawed, and he hissed back, "Quiet! I'm trying to pick the lock!"
After some more fumbling, Viggo succeeded in popping the door open. Whipping open the door, Sean lurched in, bellowing "FOR GONDOR!"
Viggo followed swiftly behind, and the two Men grabbed Orlando. They yanked him bodily out of his bed and ran whooping down the stairs, with the Hobbits trailing eagerly after them.
Orlando shrieked at the rude awakening, but his yells died down to a whimper when he was dropped hard onto the stairs. Before he could move, Dom sat on his legs and Billy sat on his stomach.
"OW! What the FUCK?!?" Orlando shouted. He tried to sit up and push the Hobbits aside, but Bean grabbed his arms and held them, too.
Viggo knelt over him, growling, "You need to be taught a lesson." He noticed Orlando's nose crinkling when his breath wafted over, and he was gripped by the urge to discipline the smug little prick underneath him. He shoved Orli's t-shirt up and whapped his belly, generating a hollow noise that echoed in the stairwell. The Hobbits, not content with holding still, started tickling their helpless victim.
Orlando twisted and yelled more obscenities than most of the hotel patrons had ever heard. Viggo ignored them and continued his assault until Orli's colorful speculations on Viggo's ancestry trailed off into pained whimpers and moans. The moans faded into tears, and then Orlando stopped fighting and just lay there, completely giving up.
Viggo wasn't satisfied. "I can't just fuck around, Orli," he said, slapping Orlando's belly again. "You should know that."
Dom sniggered, "But he's an elf slut!"
And then Orlando started to get mad. "What the bloody hell? This is about earlier today, you fucking bastard?" he yelled into Viggo's face. "You want to talk about this *here*? *Now?* With all the rest listening in?"
Viggo blinked at him, trying to focus. "Ooh, right... Kinda forgot..." he mumbled. He briefly thought about calming Orli down, but then his alcohol-soaked brain suddenly found everything amusing, and Viggo wound up giggling instead.
"We're all drunk anyway. Doubt we'll anything remember," Dom said as he tipped sideways, laughing.
The rest of the group took that as their cue to let Orlando go. "What's to discuss?" Billy laughed. "Everyone knows you can't keep it in your trousers."
Dom said in a bad Canterbury accent, "Hello, luv...aren't you a pretty one? Wanna shag in the loo?" His rendition of Orlando's voice caused everyone to howl with laughter.
Everyone except Orlando, that is. Fuming, Orlando shoved Billy off of him, straightening his boxers and t-shirt as he got up.
"Oi!" Billy shouted as he fell over, "You have a pulse! Let's shag!"
"Oh, that's nice, mates. I won't forget this, I can tell you," Orlando growled as he stormed off to his room.
"Ooooh, he's mad..." Bean noted, but then ruined it by snickering.
Viggo looked concerned. As much as he could anyway -- what they had just done was only just starting to sink into his head. Eventually the others went back to their rooms, leaving Viggo sitting in the hall. Thinking.
After an eternity, the full scenario finally registered and Viggo was shocked at how cruel he had been. Needing to rectify things, he crept up to Orlando's door and tapped quietly.
"Fuck off!" Orlando shouted back.
Viggo winced. He deserved that; but he needed to fix this. Taking a deep breath, he asked softly, "Orli, can we talk?"
"You deaf? Fuck OFF!"
"Orli... I'm sorry for what happened out there," Viggo said. "Please open the door?"
Viggo heard many grumbles through the door, along with the occasional thump. After a few minutes, he heard the click of the deadbolt being opened, but the door stayed closed. A few more thumps sounded, followed by the creak of the bed.
There were no other sounds, and after a while, Viggo guessed that the initiative was being left up to him. Heart thumping, he opened the door, and then closed it swiftly behind him. A glowering Orlando was sitting on the bed, his eyes glittering with fury.
Viggo lowered his eyes and said, "I'm sorry that got out of hand... I was... *am* really drunk..." He rubbed his hands together awkwardly. "Um... How can I get you to forgive me?"
Orlando gave him an icy glare. "I don't know, mate. Not my job to figure it out, either. Just say your piece and get out. I know what you all think of me now. Fucking arseholes."
Unsure if he would be rebuffed, Viggo took a few tentative steps towards the bed. When nothing happened, he continued walking, stopping when he stood close to Orlando.
Fingers trembling, he reached out to touch the slender shoulder. "Orli... I don't think you're loose... It's just... I'm too old for casual sex."
Orlando batted his hand away, spitting out a curse.
"Orli, please..." Viggo said, feeling his heart clench.
"Fuck you, Viggo!" Orlando shouted. "What the fuck makes you think I just want a quick shag and nothing else? Or is that all you want from me?"
Viggo stepped back, beginning to get angry himself. "Because that's all you've ever wanted out of anyone else," he said, "I want a partner, Orli! Not a fuck buddy! You're young, you're beautiful... Of course you sleep around."
Orlando's face scrunched up as he yelled, "Well maybe I'm tired of it, too! I'm sick of just pulling someone at the pub and shagging them without ever even knowing their name. Fuck! I just... I just thought you... I thought since were friends, that maybe... Well. Guess I shouldn't have bothered thinking at all, yeah?" he finished bitterly.
"Y-you want more," Viggo said, deflating. "Fuck..." He fell to his knees. "I misjudged you." He crawled to the bed and put his head in Orlando's lap. "I'm so sorry, Orli..." he sniffled.
Orlando pushed Viggo off his lap. "Get off me, you lying prick! Fuck, don't you ever give up? I get it - you think I'm a slut and you're not interested. Now go away!" He got up and walked toward the door muttering, "Fucking drunk actors..."
Viggo lunged at Orlando, grabbing him and shaking him by the shoulders. "Listen to me! I care for you, goddamnit!"
Orlando growled. "Four words, Vig – 'glitter soap' and 'belly-slapping.' Talk is cheap, mate. Prove it."
After a long moment of silence, Viggo scooped Orli up into his arms and staggered into the bathroom.
Clinging on for dear life, Orlando squeaked, "What the fuck?"
Holding him close, Viggo freed one hand and turned on the taps in the bath. He added some non-girly smelling bath salts, pulled off Orlando's clothes, and pushed him into the tub. Silently, he began to massage Orlando's shoulders and back.
Feeling the muscles start to relax, Viggo whispered, "Better?"
Orlando blinked at him. "I'm naked and wet. It's what, 2 am?" He sighed, then admitted, "Better. Feels nice. But I'm still confused."
"Hush. Let me spoil you," Viggo murmured, getting out the shower gel. He massaged it into Orli's back until he heard a slight purr. "Let me get that tension out..." He made an effort to go for the knots of muscle, and decided that it made sense in his still-woozy mind that he could reach better if he got in the tub also. Quickly, he stripped and slid into the hot water behind Orlando.
The splash woke Orli up from a relaxed doze. "Uh. Vig? You're still drunk, aren't you?" he asked with resignation.
Viggo giggled. He felt incredibly warm, and the room was spinning, but he could still string two words together; which, in his mind, didn't qualify as drunk. "Just tipsy. Don't worry about it..." he mumbled, leaning heavily on Orli's back. Everything was very warm, and he felt like he was floating. "Mmmm... God, you feel good," he whispered, nuzzling Orli's shoulder.
Orlando moaned and decided to just go with it.
Viggo's hands came up to play with Orli's nipples. "I've always loved how large they are... They look so sensitive..." He purred before he squeezed one.
"Holy fuck!" Orlando gasped, eyes flying open, wide and alert. He wiggled around. "You. Out of the tub. Now," he ordered, pointing, then struggled to get out of the tub himself. "Move it, Ranger. Bed!"
Viggo grinned, stumbling into the bed, still wet. "Mmmm..." he sighed, running a hand through his chest hair as he tried to focus on Orlando's face. "You look good just out of the bath," he purred lecherously.
Orlando rolled his eyes. "I always look good, filthy human," he said, crawling into bed next to Viggo. He waited a moment to see if the other man would make a move. "You're going to fall asleep on me, aren't you?" he teased.
Viggo shook his head somewhat dizzily as he reached out to stroke Orli's ears. "Mmmm... Love your elf ears..." he murmured, sliding closer. “Love those luscious lips of yours..." He licked Orlando's lips, then pressed in for a very sloppy kiss.
Orlando tried not to, but melted anyway. Moaning, he kissed back, touching Viggo everywhere. Viggo whimpered, and began running light fingertips all over Orlando's smooth skin. Their next kiss was more urgent; Viggo's tongue plundering Orli's mouth as he rolled on his back, pulling Orlando on top of him.
Taking a slow, deep breath, Viggo felt the warmness surround him in a cocoon. Before Orlando could react, Viggo's hands slid off, and he passed out, mumbling, "Love you, Orli."
Orlando blinked for a moment, hoping this was another of Viggo's mad jokes. When a soft snore greeted him, he sighed and resigned himself to the fact that nothing was going to be explained until the morning. Orlando pushed Viggo to the side, and pulled up the blankets. Viggo snuggled up to Orlando, wrapping his arms around him protectively. Orlando's heart softened, and he burrowed further in, kissing the arm around his chest. "I think I love you, too," he whispered.
Viggo snored in his ear in response.
Morning light streamed in through open curtains, illuminating the two bodies in the bed. Orlando rolled over and ran into something hard. He mumbled something but it was totally unintelligible.
Viggo groaned as something warm and firm pressed into his morning erection. The pain from the sound made him wonder what herd of oliphaunts had trampled through his head the night before, and why his mouth tasted like he drank out of the Midgewater Marshes. He cracked an eye open.
Still mostly asleep, Orlando wiggled against the pleasantly hard cock poking into his bum.
Viggo moaned again and realized he was naked. A moment later, he realized Orli was also naked. "FUCK!"
"AAAhhh!" Orlando yelped, jumping out of the bed, getting tangled in the sheet, and falling to the floor with a loud crash.
Viggo's head throbbed in agony, whispering "ow" for each pulse of blood.
The heap on the floor was silent. Then, quietly, "Vig?"
"Please don't breathe so loudly," Viggo whispered, slowly reaching his hands up to cradle his head.
Orlando slowly got up and peeked over the end of the bed. Viggo groaned. Orlando's nose wrinkled. "Ack. Ranger breath."
"Orli, please... Not so loud," Viggo begged, wincing. A moment longer of silence and very sluggish thinking prompted him to ask, "Um, did we, uh...?" and lower his hands to give Orlando a worried look.
Orlando sighed. "Hold on," he said, getting up and going to bathroom . He poked his head back around corner. "And no, you great arse, we didn't do anything." He came back with water and aspirin.
Viggo squinted over the side of the bed, needing to confirm for himself that nothing happened. He had woken up in the past next to strange men after a night of binge drinking, and in his past, he had been known to turn into a gigantic slut once his alcohol tolerance was exceeded. He looked for condoms and lube; and he tried to ignore the throbbing in his head while he tried to figure out whether or not his ass was sore. Once he confirmed the absence of prophylactics and that no action had stretched his hole, he relaxed; although the slight gleam on his hands puzzled him.
"Whew. Thanks, Elf Boy," he said meekly as he took the aspirin. After he swallowed it and drank the water, he sighed in relief as the pounding dulled to an ache.
Orlando snorted. "So, what do you remember?" he asked after several long minutes.
"Uh..." Viggo scratched his head. "I remember having some drinks with Bean. A lot of drinks..." His forehead wrinkled. "Shit, it's a blur after that... Did I really drink that much? I haven't blacked out since my early 20s... Had a dream where I was giving you a bath and um..." he trailed off, his face turning red.
Orlando snorted again. "So you conveniently forgot the part where you gathered the whole Fellowship together, broke into my room, carried me downstairs, and slapped my belly until it was red, while the Hobbits said rude things and everyone agreed I was a slag? And then you crawled back here to apologize? And somehow your apology consisted of a bath?"
Viggo looked at Orlando, aghast. "I... What? Oh god..." He buried his face in his hands and curled up into a ball.
Resisting the urge to smile, but with a cheery tone to his voice, Orlando continued. "Care to share what might have been going on in that bloody thing you call a brain, mate? Any of it. The glittery soap thing. The belly slapping. The apology where you accused me of being a slut. Followed by the bath. I mean, I know you're random and artisty and shite, but what the fuck?"
With a sigh, Viggo pulled himself together enough to answer. "The glitter soap was just my retaliation for you leaving that fake dog shit in my trailer. And because your personality is luminous... I just wanted to bring that out to the surface..."
Orlando nodded. "Right. And then I got harassed all bloody day for being glittery. Fair enough. Then you set me up for a cold shower - fine. I'm still planning to get you back later, mind, but fine. And then you kissed me..."
"You're irresistible, Orli," Viggo sighed. "And you were wiggling on my lap. I'd have to be dead to ignore you."
A grin split Orlando's face for a moment, but then faded. "But then you decided that we shouldn't, because god fucking forbid things not work out and we don't end up having a commitment ceremony and adopting babies in five years. What the fuck?"
"Orli..." Viggo said in a quiet tone, "I don't know about the commitment ceremony... But I don't want a one night stand... Or even a several months' stand. We're going to drift apart after filming ends."
Exasperated, Orlando asked, "So it's not even worth trying for, then?"
Viggo looked down at his hands. "How much are you in for? I'm too old for temporary relationships."
Orlando reached out to take his hand. "I can't guarantee anything. I don't know. I just know that I haven't felt this way about anyone before, and I'm tired of just fucking around. I don't know what will happen after we wrap, but I don't think of you as a temporary part of my life, either."
Viggo gave him a longing look. "I don't want you to be temporary."
"Well then quit with the girly shite and fucking kiss me already," Orlando grinned, "We'll work the details out later."
Viggo nodded, smiling, and then lurched forward, grabbing Orlando by the shoulder and sucking his soul out through his lips. His tongue explored Orlando's mouth and he was rewarded by arms and legs circling him like an octopus as they both moaned.
Finally, Viggo pulled back, feeling breathless from the kiss. Their bodies pressed together, closer, and he whispered, "How far do you want to go?"
Orlando grinned at him, sliding his hands down Viggo's chest to grab his substantial cock. "How about as far as it takes to get this up my arse?" he asked with an innocent blink.
Eyes rolling back into his head at Orlando's touch, Viggo gasped, "Lube?"
Orli bounced off Viggo's lap after giving his erection another quick squeeze and went to fish lube and condoms from the bathroom. He started to head back, but then stopped at the side of the bed, and handed them to Viggo instead. Slowly, letting Viggo's eyes devour him, Orlando crawled on top, stalking him like a lion.
Viggo's mouth went completely dry. Growling, he pulled Orlando down onto his lap, pressing against his sweet ass. "Tell me how badly you want it," Viggo said.
Orlando ground down on his cock, loving the way they fit together. "Badly. For months," he groaned. "Since I met you, practically. But, hey, wait – you're the one that's supposed to be apologizing," he remembered.
"Damn, I'm busted," Viggo murmured. Kissing Orli's forehead he said, "I'm sorry for running away from you..." He kissed his chest. "I'm sorry for not telling you how I feel..." His tongue swept over a nipple. "I'm sorry for my strange behavior..." Viggo sucked on the nipple, keeping Orlando distracted while he reached for the lube and a condom.
"Oh god, yeah," Orli sighed, arching into Viggo's mouth as his head dropped backwards. "Apology accepted," he added as he moved to slam their mouths back together, moaning when Viggo's slick fingers opened him up. "Come on, Viggo, fuck me."
Viggo didn't need to be told twice. He rolled on the condom quickly before he grabbed Orlando's hips and slammed upward, groaning as he sank inside. "So... tight..." he moaned.
Orlando's hands clenched in the sheets next to Viggo's shoulders, as it took some effort to relax enough to accept him inside. The unexpected thickness of Viggo's cock unsettled him; he felt full, like he'd found the thing that fit inside him better than anything or anyone else ever did or would. He was always such a fucking sap at the first moment of penetration, but it felt like so much more with Viggo than he ever before. Finally, after a long moment, he took a deep breath and relaxed, and pressed back into Viggo. He knew the expression on his face probably gave away everything he was feeling, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.
"Orli," Viggo whispered, breath taken away by the love shining in the depth of Orlando's eyes. "My beautiful Orli..." he murmured, petting his hair. He pressed a tender kiss to Orli's mouth and began rocking inside of him.
There just weren't any words big enough for how Orlando felt, like he was breaking apart as Viggo touched places deep inside him, filling him with more than just his cock, with... love. How could he have never known what he was missing? He rocked in rhythm with Viggo, feeling the gradual build, and not wanting it to end.
Viggo's thoughts ran along similar lines, feeling that he was losing himself in Orlando, that he didn't want to ever let him go. He changed the angle of his hips slightly, stretching up to nibble Orli's neck. "My Orli," he whispered again.
Orlando couldn't stop the continual moans welling up from somewhere deep inside him, and wrapped his arms around Viggo as much as he could. He pressed into the mouth on his neck, hoping Viggo would take the hint that Orli wanted him to mark him, and whimpered, "Please."
Taking Orli's cue, Viggo sucked hard, leaving a bruise that makeup would probably kill him for. "Mine," he purred, as he soothed it with his tongue.
Shivers ran through Orlando and he ground his hard cock against Viggo's belly in the same pulses that Viggo sucked on his skin. Viggo's words, him claiming Orlando made him almost blind with need, but he managed to pull himself together enough to know that he didn't want to rush this. "Yours," he managed to answer after an embarrassingly long silence punctuated only by his groans.
Viggo kept rocking within him, even though his body was screaming at him to pound away. Eventually, he rolled Orlando onto his back, covering his body. He sped up his strokes, caressing Orlando's face at the same time. "Baby," he purred.
Viggo thrust deeper inside Orli, and the sensations building within left Orlando shaking with tremors. He held onto Viggo's shoulders, clenching in his desperation, struggling to find words to tell him that he was close, so close. "Please, Viggo, luv, please," he begged.
Viggo groaned - God, that begging almost did him in. But he still wasn't ready to let it end. Burying himself deep inside Orlando, he stopped, leaning down to suck on Orlando's nipples. He flexed his groin, making his cock jump inside Orli.
"Fuck!" Orlando yelled, pulling Viggo closer. Viggo was stabbing him in the best place possible, and that combined with his mouth on Orlando's nipples, and the overwhelming feeling of *love* coming from him... Orlando just couldn't take it anymore. "Oh Viggo, gunna come," he gasped, pulling fitfully at Viggo's body to make him move again.
Smiling, Viggo pulled Orli's legs onto his shoulder and thrust as hard as he could. "Show me, baby," he murmured, sucking on the small mark he had made earlier. "Let me see you come." He gave Orlando's hips a squeeze as he thrust deep inside over and over again.
Stupid things started to come out of Orlando's mouth, like "Holy fucking Christ, Viggo, yes yes yes," interspersed with a high pitched whining that he bet Bean could hear through the thin hotel walls, but there was no way Orlando could hold it in. Not with Viggo pounding into him like that, so perfect, exactly right. Finally, his body reached overload and he was shouting and convulsing, pulling Viggo closer, deeper, and saying idiotic things about loving him as he climaxed with every cell in his body.
Viggo was breathless, watching Orlando's face, practically glowing as he rocked through his orgasm, and he couldn't hold back any longer. Calling out Orlando's name, he thrust forward once more, shaking as he spilled into the condom. He was flying high, lights dancing in front of his eyes as he came...
Viggo felt like the top of his head was blowing off and then he crashed back down to Earth. Collapsing in a sweaty heap on top of Orli, he nuzzled the side of his neck. "Wow," was all he could say.
Orlando chuckled weakly. "Yeah. Definitely wow."
After a few minutes of basking in satisfaction, Orlando slowly noticed that they were both awfully sticky. And that the sun was streaming in through the window. Groaning, he glanced at the clock. "Fuck, Vig. We need to get moving. Have to be on set in just over an hour." And then to top off the romance, his stomach gurgled.
Viggo snickered at the noise. Impulsively, he reached down and rubbed it. "Awww... Is someone hungry?" he teased. He pulled out and disposed of the condom, using tissues to clean them both off. "An hour? Well, if we get dressed now, we can go to breakfast."
Orli wrinkled his nose. "You need a shower, stinky Ranger. And so do I, since I have Man sweat all over me now."
"No one showered in Middle Earth," Viggo argued, "It'd add an air of authenticity."
Orli shoved Viggo to get him moving and out of bed. "Elves showered. And if you want to shag this elf again..." he said with a meaningful look.
"All right, lead on," Viggo sighed, "although Craig's starting to look pretty cute right now... He wouldn't require that I shower..."
Orlando stuck out his tongue and pulled Viggo into the bathroom. Soon the water was heated up and they were squeezing together in the bath tub. "Mmmm... This is nice," he sighed, trailing his fingers in the water running down his body. "And you never answered me... What was up with the bath last night?"
Viggo scratched his head. "I think I felt that since I started this whole thing with me stealing your soap, it made sense to come full cycle and treat you to a nice bathing experience. Either that or I wanted to cleanse out my previous actions..."
"Or you were just drunk off your arse," Orli added.
"Um, yeah... Could have been that, too." Time was running short, so Viggo looked around for something to wash himself with. "Fuck, I forgot - no soap," he groaned, realizing that the entire cast and crew would be teasing him mercilessly all day for being a glittery Ranger.
Orlando didn't even try to stop the laughter that turned into girly giggles as he pictured Viggo being sparkly all day.
"Fine," Viggo grumbled. "Do we have *anything* I can clean myself with?" He had a suspicious feeling that he knew the answer.
Wiggling his tongue at Viggo, Orlando grabbed the undissolved part of yesterday's "soap", which had turned out to be a bath bomb. With a wink, he said, "Just this, Viggo."
Viggo groaned again. "There isn't anything else we can use? Because otherwise, we'll be sweaty, gleaming, *and* oily. But not clean."
Orlando laughed and threw the bottle of overwhelmingly flower-scented, shimmery bath gel at him. "Enjoy," he said with a grin that spoke of the beginning of revenge.
Later that morning, Bean's hung over-confused questions about them both being "glittery and poncy smelling" made them both laugh for an unseemly long time, and left none of the witnesses in any doubt as to the reasons why.
Toronto Film Festival, 2004
Once he was done filming for the day, Viggo ducked into the Toronto Lush shop, grinning as he quickly spotted a number of bath products containing glitter.
The salesgirl's eyes popped out as she recognized Aragorn in her very own shop, and blushed. "Um, hi, um, Mr. Mortensen, sir?" she squeaked, "May I help you find something?"
Viggo tried not grin, turning on the charm. "Hello, I'd like to buy some bath bombs," he said.
The salesgirl gestured. "Right over here, sir. Any particular scent you're interested in?" she asked breathlessly, trying not to picture him naked.
Viggo grinned. "Something very... flowery. What does this 'Fairy Jasmine' one smell like?"
The salesgirl blinked and deflated, obviously assuming it was a gift for a girlfriend. "That one's a nice delicate floral, jasmine and ylang ylang. It has glitter dust in it, which leaves your skin all shimmery - perfect for clubbing. Er. Not *your* skin of course..." she babbled, realizing what she'd said and turning beet red.
"Perfect for clubbing, huh?" Viggo smiled, his voice getting husky at thought of a shirtless, low-rider clad Orlando twisting sinuously on the dance floor, each muscle on his perfect chest gleaming as he moved.
In the midst of his reverie, something else caught his eye. "How about this 'Sex Bomb' one?" he asked, fingering the pink and purple globe.
The salesgirl turned even more red. "That one has, uh, a more herbal scent to it. Um, if you like, I can unwrap some samples for you to smell?"
"That would be wonderful," Viggo purred, already having fantasies. It had been months since he was last with Orlando.
The salesgirl came back. "Here's the Fairy one, sir, um, Mr. Mortensen, and um, this is the, uh," her voice dropped to a whisper, "the Sex Bomb one."
Viggo smelled them and decided they were perfect. "Great. I'll take both of them. Can you gift wrap them?"
"Yes, sir, of course," she said, scurrying away. "Um, we have yellow or blue ribbons; which would you prefer?"
"Yellow. Definitely yellow."
She finished up the wrapping and Viggo paid and left, after signing a few autographs as well as the credit card slip. He caught a taxi and headed to the hotel where Orlando was supposed to be waiting, going through the usual cloak-and-dagger routine to get inside.
"Viggo!" shouted a long-missed voice, and Viggo was attacked and knocked backward two steps until they slammed bodily into the wall, mouths locked together too vigorously to be called something as dainty as "kissing."
Orlando pulled back for a moment, breathless. "Hi," he said, before snogging Viggo again.
Viggo's head spun, and he gently detached Orlando from him. "Um... Hi." Orlando whined and gave him the mother of all pouts, so Viggo held up the gift-wrapped bundle in his hands. "Happy anniversary, baby."
Orli grinned and bounced. "A present? For me?" He attacked Viggo again, smiling into his mouth. "Hmm, and all I brought for you was my package," he said with an incredibly goofy grin and waggle of eyebrows, grinding his erection into Viggo's hip.
Viggo laughed. "That's it? Maybe I should take this back, then..." he teased.
"Nonono!" Orli pouted, grabbing for his present. "What is it, what is it?" he exclaimed, tearing off the wrappings. "Ooh, it's from Lush!" Orlando clutched his heart in high melodrama. "Oh Viggo, you *remembered*!" he said, pretending to swoon and then breaking up into hysterical laughter.
"In celebration of what first got us together..." Viggo said, eyes sparkling. "And besides, you look damn sexy in glitter."
Orlando grinned back. "So do you, sexy Ranger."
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Date: 2005-09-18 08:46 pm (UTC)I always wondered if Orlando would have been angry after that belly slapping incident. I know I would have! It's gotta take a lot of love for your co-stars to keep going after something like that. Being ganged up on is never fun.
I love that Viggo is too drunk to remember anything more than the possibility that bathing with Orlando was a dream. And it's too funny that Vig ends up being Glitter!Ponce!Ranger!Aragorn at work the next morning.
Thanks so much for a great story!
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Date: 2005-09-19 07:09 pm (UTC)*dreams of bathing Orlando* Mm... yeah, that's it.
Glad you enjoyed - thanks for the review!
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Date: 2005-09-20 06:25 am (UTC)I'm so glad Orlando was able to get over his anger. Though, I wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't - Viggo was just plain mean! Nasty man!
It's great that the glitter soap is a good memory for them now, and something they can BOTH laugh about.
Thanks for the story!
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Date: 2005-09-20 03:27 pm (UTC)Glitter soap always makes me giggle now. :)
Glad you enjoyed - thanks for the review!
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Date: 2005-09-23 12:21 am (UTC)*puts in memories*
oh and the counter is a brilliant idea to put up for a fic!! :)
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Date: 2005-09-23 04:20 pm (UTC)I'm actually have trouble with the counter - it's making me use a new user name and password every time I try to create one... *sigh* I sent off a "help me" email but no reply yet. You don't use counters or know of a better site, do you?
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Date: 2005-09-23 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-24 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-24 11:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-24 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-23 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 07:13 pm (UTC)Orlando grinned at him, sliding his hands down Viggo's chest to grab his substantial cock. "How about as far as it takes to get this up my arse?"
BEST. LINE. EVER!!!! XD
Loves this piece. Very yummy. And the "Oh Viggo, you *remembered*!" he said, pretending to swoon made me giggle so hard that I nearly fell of my chair. I loved that drunken Viggo, and that the two poor boys had to overcome more than one hurdle before they finally got together. Great work, you two! :D
~NEbU~
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Date: 2005-10-19 09:36 pm (UTC)Thanks for the comment!
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Date: 2006-01-11 10:33 am (UTC)p/s .. cute fic!
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Date: 2006-01-11 07:51 pm (UTC)And I'm thrilled to have scarred your friends! Or converted them! Or both!
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Date: 2007-10-27 09:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 08:11 pm (UTC)Thanks for commenting!
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Date: 2007-11-07 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-08 05:37 am (UTC)