ok, I'm done reading DH

[salixbabylon]

but no, this isn't a spoiler, because i'm not saying anything about the book's content at all.



i feel devastated and bruised and like someone i loved very much has died. i knew this would happen, that i'd be sad to have the series end, but i didn't know i'd feel so utterly *gutted*, and in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with what characters lived or died.

maybe tomorrow i will bounce back.

tonight, i feel like i've lost one of my best friends.

and i feel like that's an insult to the best friend i lost two years ago. it's not meant to be. it's just that it's such a loss, and i was so unprepared for it to hurt like this. i feel like such an idiot for letting this series mean so much to me.

and yet, it's given me so much. one newspaper article in the SF Chron and a whole world opened up, one that got me writing and reading and connected to people in many fandoms, all over the world. how can i regret that?

whenever there is love, there is a possibility for pain. i've never chosen to go through life not loving, just to avoid the pain of loss.

but tonight, i just can't stop crying.

Comments

[uinendolothen.livejournal.com]

I can completely relate. I cried because of the story, but I also cried because the story has finally ended. And I cried a lot. And I still feel heart-broken.

*hugs, honey*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*hug* I think there are a lot of tears going around, as we all finish reading and it sinks in that this was the last The End. I think it's ok to grieve - how else do we measure the depths of our love?