ok, I'm done reading DH

[salixbabylon]

but no, this isn't a spoiler, because i'm not saying anything about the book's content at all.



i feel devastated and bruised and like someone i loved very much has died. i knew this would happen, that i'd be sad to have the series end, but i didn't know i'd feel so utterly *gutted*, and in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with what characters lived or died.

maybe tomorrow i will bounce back.

tonight, i feel like i've lost one of my best friends.

and i feel like that's an insult to the best friend i lost two years ago. it's not meant to be. it's just that it's such a loss, and i was so unprepared for it to hurt like this. i feel like such an idiot for letting this series mean so much to me.

and yet, it's given me so much. one newspaper article in the SF Chron and a whole world opened up, one that got me writing and reading and connected to people in many fandoms, all over the world. how can i regret that?

whenever there is love, there is a possibility for pain. i've never chosen to go through life not loving, just to avoid the pain of loss.

but tonight, i just can't stop crying.

Comments

[hambares.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. Oddly enough, I went through that with the penultimate book. I wasn't sure I wanted to read the final installment. The 7th actually seemed like great closure to me after sorting through my sad thoughts of the end. I don't think of it as the end now. Why? Because of all the talented authors I have met through fandom! Many of them love this world just as much as I do and don't want to give it up or will just want to tweek canon to fit their view of what will happen to the characters. While JKR's version is over, Fandom lives on.

SMILE!!

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

It's true - there's lots of fandom left, even if it's become AU. It's just and ending, and those always hurt a bit, to me.

I'll bounce back in a few days. ;)

[nverland]

*rubs back and tries to soothe*
I never got into the HP stories, but after watching you and Alex both be so upset over how the auther chose to end it, I'm glad I didn't. I've spent 2 days with a sobbing friend.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Heh. Nice if you to soothe and sympathize then, especially if it's not something you're into. The world needs compassion - thank you for sharing some. :) *hug*

[roshismomma.livejournal.com]

*hug* i am actually still reading, but clicked, since you didnt spoil anything (and i've read spoilers already, darn it, so)

i thinkk.... no i know... it means a lot more to you than i, but i also know i am sad, too. JKR sure does know how to make us care about people in a book. to... put it very oversimplistically. its sheer brilliance.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

She is very good at having created a universe so very many of us wish was real. It's not a matter of who cares more or less, it's that it's such a shared expereine, I think. It's nice to not feel alone in such feelings. *hug*

[dirty-smudge.livejournal.com]

When I finished reading, I felt kinda raw. It did help that the epilogue was stupid though - if the book had ended without the "nineteen years later", my feelings would have been stronger.

I can't believe there won't be any more HP and the fact that so many characters died makes it worse for me. I'd like to be more specific, but since there are no spoilers in your post I don't want to put any here in case people who haven't finished the book are reading.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

I agree - I didn't like the contents of the epilogue, but it did help soothe the sudden finality of the ending.

Thanks for not posting/commenting anyhting spoilery!

[dirty-smudge.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :)
It's easier now coz more people have read the damn thing, but to start with it was really hard to keep it in.
My fault for being so determined to read it on the day it came out, I s'pose.

[foxrafer.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I don't read Harry Potter but I'm sorry that the ending has caused you to feel such loss and pain.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Shared misery is nice, but random compassion and understanding are wonderful gits as well. *hug*

[uinendolothen.livejournal.com]

I can completely relate. I cried because of the story, but I also cried because the story has finally ended. And I cried a lot. And I still feel heart-broken.

*hugs, honey*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*hug* I think there are a lot of tears going around, as we all finish reading and it sinks in that this was the last The End. I think it's ok to grieve - how else do we measure the depths of our love?

[second-banana.livejournal.com]

I know I'm late to the party but *hugs you close*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

HUgs are never late. :)