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salixbabylonJust wanted to say that I'm sorry I've not been posting much lately, if anyone has even noticed.
Going to school FT has been totally overwhelming, and trying to keep up with a professional-level job even PT has been frustrating to the point of random sobbing almost every week. I hate when I get so wound up I can't express tension through anything but tears and slobber, but that's where I've been for the last month or so. Midterms are this month though, so the end is almost in sight.
I've also been not posting so much since I've kind of stepped away from the HP world after this summer. OTOH, I'm glad I did the 2 fests. OTOH, of the four pieces I wrote, I'm only satisfied with one of them. The other 3 were not what I intended and I'm disappointed in myself. I've had some feedback from the ones posted to ff.net but... Well, you know what feedback from there usually looks like. Nothing to get too pleased with yourself about. Not that I'm actively complaining (ok - I am. I'm a complete bitch) and some feedback is certainly better than endless silence, but...
So this summer I saw POTC and was inspired. And then I started writing a fic and well... it was rough going, there were consent-issues in my head, the sex was awkward (more so than reasonable) and the friend who wanted me to write the damn thing and offered to beta it has had the "finished" draft for over a month and has been too busy to look at it. Which I understand but is still frustrating.
Plus, once I started reading POTC fics, I slid into reading the same friend's LOTR and RPS fics and, well, a new obsession was born. I'm kind of glad the obsession with HP is diminished, because I'm not sure that that was healthy, but... I kind of miss it. And I know I've just been filling it with the RPS stuff out of a desire to avoid life and homework. Not that that's inherently bad, but... I think my mental health would benefit from more walks outside and less time in front of the computer, even if it is obsessing about hotboysex.
Plus, I just have't read anything recently that really gripped me, in HP-fandom... Any recs ar welcome, though, so long as there's no mutilation or rape. Just can't handle that these days. Too many bad memories.
So, stress, no good writing, no HP-reading, and that's why I've not been posting here. I do jot down the occasional plot bunny, and I'm still chipping away at the way-too-long VS sequel, which I hope won't be as embarrassing as VS is to me now.
Partly, I blame book 5. I do want to re-read it, but at the moment, from the first reading, I feel very unhappy with the direction she's heading in. And since I like the adult characters best, I'm very disappointed that so many of them were OOC and just dumb (imo). Of course, maybe that's just because Harry's a teenager and sees all adults as dumb... I know I did, at 15... Hmmm...
Ok, that's enough excuses. I'm finished now.
Going to school FT has been totally overwhelming, and trying to keep up with a professional-level job even PT has been frustrating to the point of random sobbing almost every week. I hate when I get so wound up I can't express tension through anything but tears and slobber, but that's where I've been for the last month or so. Midterms are this month though, so the end is almost in sight.
I've also been not posting so much since I've kind of stepped away from the HP world after this summer. OTOH, I'm glad I did the 2 fests. OTOH, of the four pieces I wrote, I'm only satisfied with one of them. The other 3 were not what I intended and I'm disappointed in myself. I've had some feedback from the ones posted to ff.net but... Well, you know what feedback from there usually looks like. Nothing to get too pleased with yourself about. Not that I'm actively complaining (ok - I am. I'm a complete bitch) and some feedback is certainly better than endless silence, but...
So this summer I saw POTC and was inspired. And then I started writing a fic and well... it was rough going, there were consent-issues in my head, the sex was awkward (more so than reasonable) and the friend who wanted me to write the damn thing and offered to beta it has had the "finished" draft for over a month and has been too busy to look at it. Which I understand but is still frustrating.
Plus, once I started reading POTC fics, I slid into reading the same friend's LOTR and RPS fics and, well, a new obsession was born. I'm kind of glad the obsession with HP is diminished, because I'm not sure that that was healthy, but... I kind of miss it. And I know I've just been filling it with the RPS stuff out of a desire to avoid life and homework. Not that that's inherently bad, but... I think my mental health would benefit from more walks outside and less time in front of the computer, even if it is obsessing about hotboysex.
Plus, I just have't read anything recently that really gripped me, in HP-fandom... Any recs ar welcome, though, so long as there's no mutilation or rape. Just can't handle that these days. Too many bad memories.
So, stress, no good writing, no HP-reading, and that's why I've not been posting here. I do jot down the occasional plot bunny, and I'm still chipping away at the way-too-long VS sequel, which I hope won't be as embarrassing as VS is to me now.
Partly, I blame book 5. I do want to re-read it, but at the moment, from the first reading, I feel very unhappy with the direction she's heading in. And since I like the adult characters best, I'm very disappointed that so many of them were OOC and just dumb (imo). Of course, maybe that's just because Harry's a teenager and sees all adults as dumb... I know I did, at 15... Hmmm...
Ok, that's enough excuses. I'm finished now.
