November musing...
Nov. 10th, 2010 01:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
salixbabylonIt's funny when things all come together. Yesterday I was driving and listening to the radio and feeling so very very restless. That undirected urge to do something, ANYTHING. The "I am not happy, how about if I try XYZ" urge. But not having any idea what XYZ will be, this time.
And then I thought about how much it would suck if I felt this unsatisfied itch for the rest of my life. I've felt it for as long as I can remember, and I'm still not getting it - whatever "it" is.
Today I'm reading a story which had the following line in it:
“So much anger in you,” Ylnam said quietly. “So much wishing and wanting and craving. So much dissatisfaction. Do you plan to be this way all the time?”
Do I? Do I want to be this unsatisfied person my whole life? No. I know I have a good life, lots to be thankful for, nothing in particular out of reach. Just general malaise. Wouldn't it suck to feel that way for the rest of my life?
Maybe it's less about changing XYZ in my life and more about changing ABC in my head.
And then I thought about how much it would suck if I felt this unsatisfied itch for the rest of my life. I've felt it for as long as I can remember, and I'm still not getting it - whatever "it" is.
Today I'm reading a story which had the following line in it:
“So much anger in you,” Ylnam said quietly. “So much wishing and wanting and craving. So much dissatisfaction. Do you plan to be this way all the time?”
Do I? Do I want to be this unsatisfied person my whole life? No. I know I have a good life, lots to be thankful for, nothing in particular out of reach. Just general malaise. Wouldn't it suck to feel that way for the rest of my life?
Maybe it's less about changing XYZ in my life and more about changing ABC in my head.
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Date: 2010-11-12 05:41 pm (UTC)