Moment of Pause

[salixbabylon]

I've been thinking about this every since I saw it. I don't know what my goals are, where I see myself in five years, what my purpose is, what my passion is. And that makes me really super anxious.

I mean, I'm very content with life. I can't think of much more to ask for. I feel good about that, yet I also think it's always good to have something to be moving toward. I don't know what my passion is anymore. my writing mojo and sex drive seem to have gone the way of my general depression and anxiety, probably casualties of Prozac. IDK...

Comments

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

*wrinkles mouth and forehead in many possibly unattractive ways*

Yeah, I spent about five years trying to work out my passion and making a living and a nexus between the two. I knew I wasn't happy doing what I was doing. I loved helping people, but was bored to tears by the work in the end (and I no longer wanted to be told by bosses to help asshole clients). Some days I wanted to chew my arm off to escape.

So I set off in search, found a way I thought I could make a living and set about making it happen. But then you get down to the day to day activities involved... And I dunno...

I think you and I can both hope for more mental calm. We're both waaaay too hard on ourselves. My therapist would say 'inner critic' issues.

Beyond that... Health? Enough money to live on? Greatness? *sharp exhale*

So yeah, I'm not sure I believe passion leads to purpose. Or perhaps you have to divorce 'passion/purpose' from 'making a living'. When I wasn't trying to make a living from my passion, I appreciated it more.

Good luck on your own journey. And a relief from depression and anxiety sounds like a relief to me...but I hope you get the rest of your passions back again. It seems unfortunate to have to suffer in order to have your art.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

For me, I don't think my passion should be my way of earning a living, frankly. So far, that's managed to suck the fun/passion right out of about three things. ;) I'm happy having work be work, being done at the end of the day, and having something else to focus on. I'm just currently lacking the "something else."

I'm sorry the new business is so stressful. I hope it works out, soothes down, and becomes something fun ASAP. :)

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

I don't think my passion should be my way of earning a living, frankly. So far, that's managed to suck the fun/passion right out of about three things.

*laughs maniacally*

Yeah, I think that's right about where I am... But I followed all the advice that said I should make my passion my support!!!! *wrings hands*

I am guessing that the biz will work out in the long run...either way...

As for you, my dear, I am hoping you find your 'something else'. It sucks to find equilibrium and then find you've smoothed out not just the rough bits, but also the good ones. Although your garden seems like something of a passion these days. One I understand completely!