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[personal profile] salixbabylon

I've been thinking about this every since I saw it. I don't know what my goals are, where I see myself in five years, what my purpose is, what my passion is. And that makes me really super anxious.

I mean, I'm very content with life. I can't think of much more to ask for. I feel good about that, yet I also think it's always good to have something to be moving toward. I don't know what my passion is anymore. my writing mojo and sex drive seem to have gone the way of my general depression and anxiety, probably casualties of Prozac. IDK...

Date: 2013-09-09 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*wrinkles mouth and forehead in many possibly unattractive ways*

Yeah, I spent about five years trying to work out my passion and making a living and a nexus between the two. I knew I wasn't happy doing what I was doing. I loved helping people, but was bored to tears by the work in the end (and I no longer wanted to be told by bosses to help asshole clients). Some days I wanted to chew my arm off to escape.

So I set off in search, found a way I thought I could make a living and set about making it happen. But then you get down to the day to day activities involved... And I dunno...

I think you and I can both hope for more mental calm. We're both waaaay too hard on ourselves. My therapist would say 'inner critic' issues.

Beyond that... Health? Enough money to live on? Greatness? *sharp exhale*

So yeah, I'm not sure I believe passion leads to purpose. Or perhaps you have to divorce 'passion/purpose' from 'making a living'. When I wasn't trying to make a living from my passion, I appreciated it more.

Good luck on your own journey. And a relief from depression and anxiety sounds like a relief to me...but I hope you get the rest of your passions back again. It seems unfortunate to have to suffer in order to have your art.

Date: 2013-09-11 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
For me, I don't think my passion should be my way of earning a living, frankly. So far, that's managed to suck the fun/passion right out of about three things. ;) I'm happy having work be work, being done at the end of the day, and having something else to focus on. I'm just currently lacking the "something else."

I'm sorry the new business is so stressful. I hope it works out, soothes down, and becomes something fun ASAP. :)

Date: 2013-09-12 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't think my passion should be my way of earning a living, frankly. So far, that's managed to suck the fun/passion right out of about three things.

*laughs maniacally*

Yeah, I think that's right about where I am... But I followed all the advice that said I should make my passion my support!!!! *wrings hands*

I am guessing that the biz will work out in the long run...either way...

As for you, my dear, I am hoping you find your 'something else'. It sucks to find equilibrium and then find you've smoothed out not just the rough bits, but also the good ones. Although your garden seems like something of a passion these days. One I understand completely!

Date: 2013-09-09 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The day to day grind of any job with deadlines is pretty horrible. Just don't go into finance or accounting, is all I can say, it will kill your soul.

Date: 2013-09-11 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*snort* No danger of that. I like my job. I just missing having hobbies I'm passionate about, you know?

Date: 2013-09-09 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*hugs tightly* Love that saying!!!

Date: 2013-09-11 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I like it, I'm just not sure how to apply it... Yet. ;)

Date: 2013-09-09 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hello dear -- yes, we can be very hard on ourselves. Life is continually changing, boy have I found that out in the past 2 years, so whatever is happening now won't be what is happening 5 years from now, for good or ill, whether you do anything about it or not. I remember actually thinking out loud that I was content with my life about 2 years ago and then I got smacked upside the head and knocked sideways. I've been trying to regain equilibrium ever since. So, if you're content -- enjoy it. Enjoy all that makes you content. I've also found life is about finding a balance between all the things we must do and things we want to do. But it sounds as if you do feel something is missing -- you've talked about losing the writing mojo and it sounds like you want it back. It sounds like your contentedness is also a bit boring to you. Maybe it's time for us both to explore new things, or to explore things we always wanted to, but haven't. Make a list of those and begin to do them. If you want to write, set aside an hour every day and write whatever takes your fancy. Don't worry about it being the Great American Novel or whatever. I had some good luck with timed writing with friends. I'll send you a note. Hugs!!

Date: 2013-09-11 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
True enough - 5 years will bring all kinds of unexpected adventures, no matter what I do (or don't).

The weird thing about peace/equilibrium is that it's what we all strive for, right? Enlightenment, peace, contentment. Yet at the same time, we're told to always be striving for more, working toward a goal. Those are contradictory.

I do feel a bit is missing... but maybe it's just habit? Maybe contentment is okay. I'm honestly not sure. here's the line between content and bored? ;)

I do like the reminder to explore some new things. Time to get out of my rut and shake life up a little bit. *hug*

Date: 2013-09-13 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I never had specific goals to accomplish in life, but to feel good about myself, do the right thing, do not change because of what people think, but having my own convictions, helping others when possible, things like that. I'm not the ambitious type who thinks of money and fame. Money is necessary but not the main point in my life, success is good when you can accomplish something you want very much, but I look at it as situations arise. Fame was never anything that I really wanted or sought. I am a person, pretty common. I let life happen in its course. Many people may call me as a person without ambition, but I see myself as a person who likes simple things.

Life often gets complicated, and you can not do much, but to try to overcome the difficult situations. I just wish people would give me a hand when needed, because I act this way with others, but I learned that I should not expect it of no one.

Date: 2013-09-14 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
And there is nothing wrong with liking simple things and being happy with what you have. I think that's how I feel too. :) *huG*

September 2013


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