guilt

[salixbabylon]

I know this is dumb, but I keep thinking it, so I thought maybe if I wrote it down I could let it go.

My reallyreally good friend (college roommate, person I've probably known longest, ever) has been struggling with depression and some other problems. About a month ago her family became worried that she might try to kill herself and put her in a mental hospital for a week. I've been calling her at least weekly, if not more, and after not being able to get ahold of her for a week, I called her mom's house and learned that she's back there again.

And I just feel like if I had listened more, if I'd called her back faster, of I had fucking just LISTENED instead of suggesting ways to get out of her head and tried to help, if I'd made good on my offer for her to come up here and visit and get away from everything...

I know it's her life. But I just feel like I should have done more.

*sigh*

Comments

[niennas-dreams.livejournal.com]

As other people have said, there's nothing you could have done. You've had some good advice so all I'll say is that I know how you feel. My best friend, who I've known since I was 15, has always had problems. Sometimes I live in fear that she will kill herself. I would do anything for her but nothing is enough because nothing can take it away. I hate that. And I'm well acquainted with the guilt.

*hugs you tight*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing your experiences with your friend - it really does help to hear that someone else has been through these feelings, too.

*hugsyouback*

[niennas-dreams.livejournal.com]

I hope things are better for her - and you - now. It's horrible to be in that situation.

*more hugs*

Sorry this is late! *shamed face*