ok, I'm done reading DH

[salixbabylon]

but no, this isn't a spoiler, because i'm not saying anything about the book's content at all.



i feel devastated and bruised and like someone i loved very much has died. i knew this would happen, that i'd be sad to have the series end, but i didn't know i'd feel so utterly *gutted*, and in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with what characters lived or died.

maybe tomorrow i will bounce back.

tonight, i feel like i've lost one of my best friends.

and i feel like that's an insult to the best friend i lost two years ago. it's not meant to be. it's just that it's such a loss, and i was so unprepared for it to hurt like this. i feel like such an idiot for letting this series mean so much to me.

and yet, it's given me so much. one newspaper article in the SF Chron and a whole world opened up, one that got me writing and reading and connected to people in many fandoms, all over the world. how can i regret that?

whenever there is love, there is a possibility for pain. i've never chosen to go through life not loving, just to avoid the pain of loss.

but tonight, i just can't stop crying.

Comments

[hambares.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. Oddly enough, I went through that with the penultimate book. I wasn't sure I wanted to read the final installment. The 7th actually seemed like great closure to me after sorting through my sad thoughts of the end. I don't think of it as the end now. Why? Because of all the talented authors I have met through fandom! Many of them love this world just as much as I do and don't want to give it up or will just want to tweek canon to fit their view of what will happen to the characters. While JKR's version is over, Fandom lives on.

SMILE!!

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

It's true - there's lots of fandom left, even if it's become AU. It's just and ending, and those always hurt a bit, to me.

I'll bounce back in a few days. ;)