ok, I'm done reading DH

[salixbabylon]

but no, this isn't a spoiler, because i'm not saying anything about the book's content at all.



i feel devastated and bruised and like someone i loved very much has died. i knew this would happen, that i'd be sad to have the series end, but i didn't know i'd feel so utterly *gutted*, and in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with what characters lived or died.

maybe tomorrow i will bounce back.

tonight, i feel like i've lost one of my best friends.

and i feel like that's an insult to the best friend i lost two years ago. it's not meant to be. it's just that it's such a loss, and i was so unprepared for it to hurt like this. i feel like such an idiot for letting this series mean so much to me.

and yet, it's given me so much. one newspaper article in the SF Chron and a whole world opened up, one that got me writing and reading and connected to people in many fandoms, all over the world. how can i regret that?

whenever there is love, there is a possibility for pain. i've never chosen to go through life not loving, just to avoid the pain of loss.

but tonight, i just can't stop crying.

Comments

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Shared misery is nice, but random compassion and understanding are wonderful gits as well. *hug*