guilt

[salixbabylon]

I know this is dumb, but I keep thinking it, so I thought maybe if I wrote it down I could let it go.

My reallyreally good friend (college roommate, person I've probably known longest, ever) has been struggling with depression and some other problems. About a month ago her family became worried that she might try to kill herself and put her in a mental hospital for a week. I've been calling her at least weekly, if not more, and after not being able to get ahold of her for a week, I called her mom's house and learned that she's back there again.

And I just feel like if I had listened more, if I'd called her back faster, of I had fucking just LISTENED instead of suggesting ways to get out of her head and tried to help, if I'd made good on my offer for her to come up here and visit and get away from everything...

I know it's her life. But I just feel like I should have done more.

*sigh*

Comments

[bitofaspaz.livejournal.com]

Hey sweets. Don't feel badly. Worry and be concerned, but don't feel like you didn't do enough. If she is clinically depressed, then it's a chemical thing, and there's not much you could do.

My close friend just went through the same thing. She was an inpatient for 2 weeks while they stabilized her with the right meds and then they wanted her to go to a 6-8 week day programme... (which she is not doing but THAT is a whole other story).

A weekend away wouldn't have changed much. It's a good thing that she's under someone's care. If they admitted her, she needs it. People with depression can take a lot out of their support systems, which is horrid because they are SO needed and critical to their recovery.

She's going to need to address the chemical imbalance (ie. figure out the right meds), do a cognitive restructuring and/or thought-stopping workshop (or something)and she'll need your encouragement and support to keep at it.

Getting motivated is half the problem for people diagnosed with depression.

God. Re-reading this, I think I'm coming off like a know it all...:P

If you ever want to chat... my YIM is bitofaspaz.

*hugs*

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

Well, why not? This is your area! You would know. :)

Salix, listen to Joanna. She's smart. And *hugs*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Agreed - bitofaspaz is wonderful. :)

*hug*

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*hug* Thank you for everything you said - it really does help to read a "professional opinion" on the subject.

I guess I have issues because I've always dealt with depression my whole life, but apparently not to that degree. I think I made the mistake of thinking that what helps me would help her, and that seems to nt be the case.

I am glad she's getting the help she needs, and will try to stay in contact, through letters now and phone calls later... (Do you know if they'll pass them along? Should I not seal the letters so that can be read by staff to make sure I'm not saying horrid things?)

*hug* again and a *smooch* for good measure. :)

[bitofaspaz.livejournal.com]

Letters will likely be opened if she's not deemed competent/capable of managing her own affairs. At least that's what we do... Good luck. She's lucky to have a friend who is able to be as supportive and concerned as you right now.

xxx ooo

J.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the answer about the letters. And for both listening and sharing. *hug*