guh - babies in fic

[salixbabylon]

Over my lunch break I was reading a story that progressively turned more and more into the kind of thing I don't read at all, but well, it was that or just sit there and *think*, so I read it.

Alpha Male and Beta Male have some underlying attraction. Due to something weird/magical, Beta Male is turned into a girl. Yay! Now they don't have to deal with any latent homosexual urges! Romance blooms, affection and lust are declared, and they get it on. But, uh-oh -- Beta Fe/Male forgot about birth control and now a little bundle of joy is coming! Bonding ceremony, birth story, love and sap until you could drown in the tears.

I don't understand why such stories literally turn my stomach. I forced myself to read the whole thing as an exercise in "why don't I like this?" Let's explore, shall we?

I am bisexual - I like heterosexual sex. I sometimes read and enjoy heterosexual smut. So that's not it.

I admit that I do have some minor issues with transgendered people, but that's not it either, at least not in these stories. And in today's fic, that aspect was even rather well-handled. So that's not it either.

I don't dislike children. I don't particularly blanket-like them, either, though, as most women seem to say they do. To me, that's like saying "oh, I love the elderly" - a bizarre statement implying that the elderly are all alike and one gets along with all of them equally well. I like some babies/kids; I don't particularly like others. I definitely don't have much experience with them. So that's one aspect of it.

I got married in a fairly traditional heterosexual wedding, which I wish had been quirkier, but still. I have no objections to bonding ceremonies. I have always been pleased to be included i ceremonies recognizing love, even when I think the couple is badly matched and won't last. So that's not it.

I think the part that chaps my hide is the "and then they lived happily ever after"-ness of it all, and the ASSUMPTION that having a baby is the ONLY way to achieve such bliss. The final step to perfection.

Sure, having a baby probably brings a lot to your life. And no, I'm sure that in my childless state I can't even imagine the utter joy your little ones bring you.

But uh, reality check - most of the parents I know have stated that their marriages have definitely suffered as a result of having children. Not always permanently, and of course it's possible that parenting will bring a couple closer together in a positive way (maybe I just hear the negative stuff more because my friends need to vent). I'm not saying kids fuck up your partnerships, but I am saying they have an impact, and usually one that leads to a lot less fucking in the hallway because you simply can't wait until you're inside the bedroom.

And if the point of the fucking story is these two GUYS FUCKING, then why on EARTH would I care about them getting married or having a baby and living happily fucking ever after in domestic fucking bliss??????

(Plus, could you PLEASE make a fucking EFFORT to NOT turn them into whiny crying GIRLS if they're going to shack up, get hitched, and reproduce? Please? Do you know guys who act like that? Who cry the 946th time their lover says "I love you"? No. You don't. Trust me.)

If you want your gay male characters to adopt babies and live happily ever after, fine. Take a glance at the statistics to see how rare that is, but if you choose to incorporate it, fine. BUT PUT A FUCKING WARNING ON THE STORY, so that when they stop FUCKING and start changing diapers and cooing about what a miracle the little bitsy adorable poos are, I DON'T HAVE TO READ IT.

and mpreg -- Jesus Fucking Christ, JUST SAY NO



Yes, I have ISSUES all over the place about having babies in my own real life. I just want my men to act like men and just FUCK and not have babies and birth control and motherhood worm its way into my escapist recreational reading. Is that so bloody much to ask?

*rant*rave*

*collapse*

Wow. That was quite a rant. I think that was building for a really long time. You can de-friend me now, if you must.

Respectful discussions of differences of opinion are always welcomed. Flames are not.

Comments

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

Ah, but aren't about 1 in 1000 babies born with external genitalia that doesn't match their chromosomes (androgen insensitive males etc)? In the US, in the past (hopefully) males without penises were routinely raised as females. Which, of course, many of them didn't actually want to be leading to much angst and trauma.

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this except to say that gender roles are more complex than we think and that I think they fall along a continuum rather than on one side or another.

[chaosmanor.livejournal.com]

I grew up with a close family member who had gender dysphoria. It was messy, to say the least.

However, our culture tends to think of gender as a dichotomy, not a spectrum, and I can guarantee that if you asked 'Thursday's Child' Orlando if he was male, female, intersex, or some other identity of his own construction, he would answer resoundingly 'male'.

[andolinn.livejournal.com]

Part of the inspiration for Wheel of the Year?

Yes, it could get ugly for a child very fast, especially if the parents aren't sensitive, informed, accepting, patient etc. This is one of the subjects that just fascinates me (along with conjoined twins, for some reason...) so I have given it some though and as nearly as I can tell, you, as a parent, need to step back and let the child tell you who s/he wants to be. Easier said than done, but far better than forcing a gender identity on someone else.